Thoughtful Day

Well, we all made it home safely. I went to Washington just for a quick 5 days. On the way home I stopped at Tim Hortons in Abbotsford to use the washroom, when I came out there was the Mexico team!! It was so nice to see them all and give my 2 little boys big hugs! I sure missed those 2. They rode home with me, it was really nice to visit with them and hear about the trip. The house they built was dedicated to Tim, Jos and Jerm persented the keys to the family, they said that it was very emotional and hard to hold back the tears. I am so glad that they did this in Tim's memory, it was his very heart. He loved to go each year and love the people and reach out to them in this practical way.
It's hard being home again because this is where most of our memories are. I just don't know why but I seemed to spend alot of my days in tears. I was looking for a card in my trunk and I found a gift I had put in there for Tim for this Fathers Day. I had bought a white T-Shirt that said, "Best Dad, Hands Down!" and paints with it so the kids could put there hand prints on it. I was going to give it to him this Fathers Day but we didn't quite get there, he died 2 weeks before Fathers Day. I really miss him, alot!! Who's going to love me like he did?? I don't get the hugs anymore and the conversation is gone. I just wish I could hug him right now, I just want to tell him that I love him tons and he meant the world to me. Today, I just don't want to carry on, I need my little buddy and I really miss him!I have decisions to make and I wish I could just talk it over with him, pray about it together and wait for the answer. I miss his laugh and his corny jokes. Today I am wondering if I will ever stop missing him. I can't seem to turn off the tears. I know that they are part of the healing, I'm going to be okay. I have a CD on that Tim and I listened to alot the last month of his life. He would just lay there and quietly listen, I knew he was worshipping. He was in the presence of God and then one day he really did go into God's presence, where he is still worshipping and rejoicing.
I better go, can't stop the tears. Just had to touch base and let you all know that we are all home safe and sound. Joel is home for a few days. Right now all 4 kids have gone out, maybe that's why I am more emotional. I am blessed to have 4 wonderful children and they all love each other so much, I always see it when they are around each other. I thank God for this gift of love that we all have for each other. I am also thankful for the love that each one of you have shown us. May God bless you all for that!
IN HIS ARMS, Esther