One week since Treatment
Today will be one week since my final visit to the cancer clinic. It sounds kind of weird saying that. I am now back in the office part-time and on the raw food diet for the past 3 days. So often, i still don't feel as though this whole thing is real. I know that must sound strange to many of you, but that's just how it is with me. Of course, i don't want it to be real, i don't really dwell on it, i don't even feel sick and sure i can't get around like i used to, yet. Plus, i really don't feel like i am trying to pretend it's not there, and no, i still don't feel like i am living in denial. I did have a phone call from some special friends in the USA last night who reminded me to "walk by faith and not by sight". Now that is something that i feel strongly about. Lately, i have been getting frustrated about what i can and cannot do around here. It must be because i am home now and would like to be able to do all the "stuff" i used to, without even thinking about it. I love that word "stuff". But really, i really need to begin to refocus and still walk in faith believing God for the miracle. All of the prayer support received has been amazing! All of the encouraging words and connection with others has been totally awesome!
I love all the promises in the Bible. Just by doing this blog today, has reminded me that i am suppose to take "one day at a time". I think that is what has been happening to me over this past few day at home. I have been thinking too much about things that i really have no control over and that has caused me frustration and i just don't have the energy to deal with the negative feelings like that. Not to mention, i'm not suppose to allow myself to get overwhelmed with negative thoughts or feelings. This has been a good venting time for me. Thanks for reading. If you read this out loud, i would say, thanks for listening too. Well, remember what was typed a few moments ago. One day at a time, plus, walk by faith not by sight. These are two foundational statements that i am going to have printed today and put them up around the house and office.
I hope you enjoyed todays chat as much as i did.
Blessings,
Tim
posted by tim...miss you @ 7:05 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Hi daddy!!! I'm just reading your blog again. I miss you sooo much. Everyday. You wrote in this entry that the whole thing just doesn't seem real. This was 3 months after your diagnosis. It's been 2 1/2 years since you passed away and it STILL doesn't seem real. How can it be? I've stopped trying to understand because it's impossible. I don't know why God chose to take you, it doesn't make any sense at all. Our family fell apart daddy. Completely fell apart. I know it won't always be like this. Maybe that's why God took you. Maybe we all relied on your relationship with God... you were our rock. Maybe God needed us to find our own way to Him. I don't know. Life would be so different if you were here. You would have loved my wedding. You would be so proud to see the life my husband and I are building. ah. it's so unfair. I know God holds everything in His hands and so I can't try and figure things out... Just trust Him. Trust that He knows what He's doing. I love you daddy.
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