journeying together

Going to the site

2008-04-06T19:32:00.003-07:00

Hello. It's always so hard for me to come to the blog. Every time I do, I just cry, I can't seem to help it. I wish I can just be happy, but it only hurts. I miss my sweet Tim and every time i see our picture, I just weep. I miss his hugs, cuddles, kisses, his warmth next to me as we sit together. I miss everything! I feel like a fish out of water. Who am I? I look at the kids and I hurt! When will it end?Will the tears ever stop?

Someone played me this song. It was so much like me. I didn't want to miss a moment with Tim when he was sick, i only slept about 3 hrs. a night. Sometime I would just watch his sweet face and watch him breathe. I just wanted to hear him and be next to him, I didn't want to miss a thing!

I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing (Aero Smith)

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
watch you smile while you are sleeping
while you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

( chorus)
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
cause even when I dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating(I love to hear his heart and feel his warmth)
and I'm wondering what you're dreaming
wondering if it's me you're seeing
then I kiss your eyes ( and his lips and face)
and thank God were together (I always did)
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
forever and ever ( but life doesn't work that way & I miss my Tim)

(chorus)

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close (I was holding him close when he died, right there in my arms)
feel your heart so close to mine
and just stay here in this moment
for all the rest of time (I only wish that I could, I thought that I was going to grow old with Tim)

(chorus)

The last month before he died, I was by his side. I didn't want to miss a moment. I'm glad I was able to be there every moment. Now I am missing those moments. All the love and cuddles. His laugh, his humor, his gentle ways, his craziy ways, his thoughtfulness and his sweetness. I miss looking into his blue eyes and seeing the love that he had for me and the forgiveness there when I messed up, I did it so often, but there was always forgiveness!

Some evenings and nights are so hard! The other night I couldn't sleep, so I got my ipod and starting listening to music. I forgot that my friend had down loaded some other songs for me. The second song said "I don't want to lose you....." I reached over to him, the empty cold spot of my bed and wept and wept!!

Sat. morning first thought, "if Tim were here he would be coming to kiss me to tell me that he was going to yard sales." He loved his yard sales!! And he loved me and he always made sure I had kisses before he left to go anywhere! It's hard to get out of bed sometimes, just knowing he won't be there.

I know that what I am going thru is normal grieving. I know that I will heal. I know that I will get through it. I know that you care. Could you just send me a note in the comments cause right now I just need to know that people care.

Easter was nice. Another first. It was hard but so nice to have the boys home. I miss them too!
Rae's wedding is in 4wks. and 4 days. We're having a shower for her on Apr. 19th. 2pm. at Cariboo Bethel.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Whew!! I've been crying so much now I am all worn out!

I finally went to the grave site. I went yesterday and I fell apart, seeing his name,"Tim Wade," seemed so unreal and yet so final. I wept and stayed a long time. The sun came out and warmed me and I had a good talk with God and felt better. It seeems though that I can't seem to stop the tears!!

I will press on! Blessings to you all!
Esther

Memories

2008-03-20T09:13:00.008-07:00

Hi, I just finished writing for 20 minutes and I lost it all. So, I'll try again. I was just rambling on, so here goes.

After my last post I decided it was time to get going with Christmas, I was trying to put it off because I knew it would be hard, but have to face all the firsts. I finally got the tree out and then started weeping. It was ALWAYS Tim's job to put it up. I just couldn't stop weeping so I never got it up that day.

Christmas Eve, Josiah on the piano and Joel playing guitar in the livingroom, Joel starts singing his song to his Dad. I broke down and started crying. Joel got to the 2nd verse, couldn't sing anymore, head was bowed, he was still playing and the tears were streaming down his cheeks. Jos continued to play as we all wept. Daddy we miss you, you meant so much to us, you taught us so much. Tim I miss you, where are you? Joel stopped, came over to me and we hugged and wept.

Christmas morning. Myself and 4 children, seemed quiet and empty, the big chair didn't have our Daddy on it, no laughter, no jokes, no encouraging comments. None of us said nothing we just felt the empyness. Shortly after the gifts were open Joel disappeared. I went downstairs and found him standing in the middle of the room, tears streaming down his face. I wrapped my arms around him and we cried. He then went to lay on the couch face down, I sat by him rubbing his back, praying and crying. "Jesus heal my sons broken heart." Where is our Tim?

Jan. 1, felt lost and scattered. Kids all had plans with friends, I had no Timmy to do something with so I had to find something to do, just wasn't the same.

Jan.29, Happy Birthday Tim. I miss you, but I know that you are celebrating in heaven and that is a good thing. I cried and cried. It was hard realizing that Tim was here anymore and I could hug, hold, kiss and wish him a happy birthday, face to face. When I woke up that morning I did, reach over to his side and say,"Happy Birthday Honey." It just all feels so empty. I miss you Tim. I know you're not coming back and I have to deal with that, I'm trying.

Feb.14th Where is my Valentine? Last yr. although he was very sick, in his wheel chair, catheter, morphine and gavapentin, he still made the day extra special for me, just like he always had for the past 26 yrs. He made reservations at a restaurant and invited other friends. When we got there there was a balloon, a beautiful candle and holder and some flowers, at my spot. I was so blessed, he was always so sweet and thoughtful, I was his little spoilt one!! He told me that we were going "all out," we had appy's, drinks, main course and dessert. After it all he groaned and said, "Oh, I am so full, I can barely walk!!" Then he gave a funny look and started laughing so hard!! He had us all laughing so hard too!! What a guy, to be able to laugh at his handicap! After a while we were able to gain control, then he said,"Now i feel sick," Then, he started laughing all over again!! And we joined him, what a crazy guy! Always bringing joy to others, never thinking about himself! I am so blessed to have had such a person in my life, I hope I can live up to his example. I cried and missed him this Valentines. He will always be my Valentine, because he was an example of unconditional love to me!

Spring Break, I felt so lost. Tim always had the ideas and plans and we went along with it quite happily. Now what do I do? Even last yr. when he was so sick, he made a plan for us to go to Victoria to spend time with Joel. We went for a walk near the beach and then he took us out for lunch to a nice seaside restaurant. We were all there Gean, Joel, Jos and Jerm! We had a great 5 days doing fun activites, even spent a day visiting my Aunt and Uncle in Sdyney, Tim was always thinking about others, he knew that I wanted to see my Aunt and Uncle and he made arrangements to do that! What a sweetheart! On the way home he got blurred vision, I didn't know than it was because he had brain tumors. He was so frustrated that he couldn't see clearly anymore, poor sweetheart. We made sure we spent some time with Rae at Bible School too and then we came home. Well, this yr. I was lost, didn't know what we should do, knew stuff for me. I had a great dream about Tim, he came and sat at the table across from me, his smiling bright blue eyes were looking into mine, I was smiling too! He said,"well honey, what are you going to do for Spring Break?" I was so excited because I thought that he was going to tell me. I said,"I don't know yet, I have some ideas," He smiled so big, a real confident smile, and then he was gone!! I was so disappointed! I realize now that he was just letting me know that he had confidence in me, that I would be okay, to step out and make plans. And it is Spring Break now and we are having the boys come home for Easter and having a nice time visiting. It's good, I have peace now.

There will be more firsts coming up soon. On St. Patricks Day, 27yrs. ago, I was sitting outside of the college, Tim came and sat with me, I bent down to pull up my sock and there was a four leaf clover! I picked it up and pressed it in my Bible. That evening Tim took me out for dinner and on the way home we stopped and parked and he gave me my engagement ring!! It is so beautiful! I have the 4leaf clover in our wedding album, if anyone wants to see it sometime, smile!

There will be Rae's wedding, May10th, Mothers Day and then the 31st. The day Tim went to heaven. I haven't been to the grave side yet so will go then. I am getting stronger and braver.

I know God holds my hand and we will be okay. Thanks for your continued prayers and care.
Blessings to you all!!
In His Arms,
Esther

Update

2007-12-19T15:08:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

It's about time I do an update! It's been an especially hard 3 weeks for me. It seems like I spend every day in tears over a memory or two. I know that in time God will heal. It's especially hard as Christmas is so near. Last night I was by myself and decided to set up the tree. This has always been Tim's job. As you can imagine, I only got it half out when the tears started. I just sat on the floor and cry and sobbed. Then I phoned Lynnette to talk to and pray for me. It really helped. Then I found Tim's "hippy" santa that I had given him as a joke, the tears again. I know that these tears are okay because God heals through them. It will be a challenging Christmas but we will all be together and we will walk through it together!!

Josiah will be home on Fri. and Joel on Sat. I can hardly wait to see my precious boys. I miss them so much!! Jos will be home for a week and Joel 2 weeks.

Rachelle got engaged to Jason Linde on Fri. Dec. 15!! I am thrilled, so excited for them. He truly loves her, cherishes her and treats he like a princess. The truth is, he spoils her!! She's worth it! The date is set for May 10th. and we can hardly wait. It will be so nice to make wedding plans. I will have 4 boys, all starting with the letter "J". They are all bible names as well, pretty cool hey!

Jeremiah is involved with a band, he is their lead singer. I hear him practicing and he has a good voice, can stay on key and hit the right notes!!

Mom and Dad are doing pretty good. Dad really does have alot of ups and downs. If anyone wants to minister, go visit him or just call him. He is really missing Tim too and a phone call and a visit would really bless him.

I hope that you will all have a great Christmas. Blessings to you all!!

In His Arms, Esther

Birthday and Dad

2007-11-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

My last blog was 2 days before my birthday, so that was 10 days ago. There's been alot happening since then.

My birthday was happy sad, good hard, still blessed because I know that I am loved! When I got home from work, I walked into the house and found flowers!! Every birthday for 26 yrs. Tim has always brought me flowers, along with lots of love, hugs and kisses! My children made sure that the tradition of love was continued.

I saw the flowers and then I saw Josiah coming up the stairs, he had driven home from Kelowna to give me roses and bring the gift from all 4 children. I cried when I saw him and he gave me a BIG hug! Joel had sent a bouquet of flowers, stargazer lilies, because they were Tim's favorite and roses because I love them, I cried again. Rae, gave me a painting with roses, to always remember how Daddy always gave me roses, I cried again. I am so blessed to have such thoughtful loving children!!

I cried because I miss Tim. He was always the biggest part of my birthday, from the first kiss in the morning to the last kiss at night. I was Queen for the day!! I missed him, I cried myself to sleep that night, but I am okay because I know that tears are healing.

It really was a good day. I got a dozen yellow roses from my big sister Marlene. I had 3 of my special friends take me out for lunch and gave me precious and thoughful gifts. My Mom and Dad gave me an awesome card and gift. Rae and her boyfriend gave me a special gift and so did the Linde's and my faithful friends the Meads, had a special card and thoughtful gifts! Thanks to you all. Thanks to all of you that were praying for me on this day and thinking about me. Thanks to all the Happy Birthday wishes I got on facebook. I pray blessings on all these people, it made my day special, I know that Tim was smiling down on all of you for blessing his wife!! So, you see it was a happy sad day, but I am blessed.

I ask for your prayers. Dad had a heart attack and was taken by air ambulance to Kelowna. I drove mom down here. We spent most of the day with Dad. He had a number of tests today and we will know the results, hopefully by tomorrow. These tests are to find out what kind of damage was done. On Mon. or Tues. he will have another test to see what kind of blockage there is in his heart, from there they will decide what to do. They will most likely fly him to Vancouver, at least that is what they told us. Only half is heart is working, so they need to be very careful. I love my Dad very much, infact he really is the only Dad that I have had. My Dad died when I was 7. I have had Dad Wade in my life for 27 yrs. We have a special relationship, I love him with all my heart!! We spent most of the day with him. Tonight, him and I laughed so much, I was sweating!! We had a great time! Bless Him! I look forward to visiting him tomorrow. Pray for his recovery, he doesn't need to go party with Tim yet!

Blessings to you all!! In His Arms, Esther

Can't Fix it.

2007-11-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

I sit here in tears as I think of my 4 beautiful children and how they hurt and miss their Dad. I'm their mother and I wish with all my heart that I could fix this situation.

I think of my little girl and how she was so close to her Dad, sitting by him holding his hand, talking and laughing at his corny comments. Talking about how he would do her wedding and all the things that the future held for them. I would just watch and smile. I wish I could give that back to her, I cry because I can't.

I think of Joel, the baseball and hockey, the jokes and laughs that he shared with his Dad. Now there is silence, I'm sorry for that.

Josiah misses Daddy's Big Hugs! "No one in this world gives them like Daddy." Where are those hugs, he needs them when he is overwhelmed and frustrated. I give hugs but not like Daddy, I miss those hugs too. I'm sorry, he hurts.

Jeremiah, in the teen years, missing Dad's guidance, Dad's funny jokes. I wish that he could have the rest of his years with Dad. The good times and the hard times. Daddy's not coming home and I am so sorry. I wish I could fix it.

I have been able to fix a lot of things but this one thing I can not fix. I just cry and cry and pray each day for the 4 wonderful gifts that Tim left me. I do my best to love them and be there for them. I feel the loss and the pain and wish with all my heart that they didn't have to go through this but we have to. I pray and God comforts and gives us courage to go on.

The YFC banquet was on Sat. and it was so hard. YFC was Tim's very heart beat. I could see it and feel it. Cecile, staff and board members did an awesome job. It was a wonderful banquet, even though I cried through most of it. I missed Tim. He wasn't there and it felt so odd. He's been there for 20yrs. and now? How could he not be there? It is hard to accept that. I try to console myself by remembering that he sees us from heaven.
I know that he was very happy in how the banquet went. Thank you to Everyone that help, Bless You!!

Thank you for your continued love, prayers and support. May God bless you all.

In His Arms, Esther

Keeping Busy

2007-10-31T18:42:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Josiah made it to Kelowna safe and sound, I was a little worried for a while. He was having a few challenges with his car but now it is running great, we are so thankful for the great deal we got on it.

Joel called the other day and he is doing great. He got a new job and is very happy to have it. Rachelle handed in her 2 week notice for the Child Development Center and has some resumes out. She should be hearing soon as to which job she has.

My work at the school remains interesting. I took my first aid course on Oct.19 (Fri), and the next Mon. I was already practicing. The grade7 students had immunizations that morning and one of the girls fainted and had a seizer, so I had to deal with it. Then, another girl fainted, in the same class!! There were a number of kids that got sick so we called the health nurse to come back and they did. The next day ,one of the maintance men had a pipe hit him in the mouth and cut his lip open, so I was called in again! I put on the rubber gloves, checked out the wound and covered it to make sure it stayed clean while he went to emergency to get stitches. Yesterday, I had a little boy come in with his wrist all deformed, I iced it and put a sling on and called the mother, definately broken. He is now in Kamloops getting surgery on it, it was a pretty bad break. So, I guess you can say that I have been using my first aid regularly, lol!

This Sat. is the YFC annual fundraising banquet. It will not be easy for our family but we will get through it. I still have a hard time waking up, looking over at Tim's spot and not having him there. At night, I feel the same emptiness. It just doesn't seem right that he's not there. Sometimes I just lay there and cry for a while, or think about him and some of the thing he would say. I can't seem to sleep on "his" side, maybe one day I will.

Thanks for your prayers. Blessings to you all, Esther

Answered Prayer

2007-10-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

Hello!! Thank you for your prayers. On Fri. at work, our secretary asked me if I was still looking for a car for Josiah, I said yes and she told me that her son had a car for sale. It use to be her car 2 yrs. ago and her son bought it from her. She told me all about it and I actually remembered how it looked. I was so excited!! It even had winter tires with rims!! It had everything that we had been praying for. So, today we went up to Prince George, looked at the car, took it for a drive and bought it!! Josiah drove it to Kelowna today, I hope he calls soon, it's 8pm. and he left in the afternoon. He said he would call when he got home.

Thanks for your prayers. I'll stay in touch.

With Love, Esther

Memories

2007-10-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I just sent an email to our Swiss friends and all of a sudden I was flooded with memories of Tim and I. Now I am crying, I miss him so much, I wonder, will it ever stop? I look around me and I see pictures of us everywhere, 27 yrs. of love and memories and 4 amazing children.

When we were in Switzerland, Tim took me for a walk to a monestary in the woods, it was so refreshing (cool, it was a hot day that day). It was so beautiful there, we took an number of pictures. At one point we saw a very small dog trying to carry a huge stick, twice it's size! It looked so funny, we were laughing and took a pic. After our walk Tim took me for an ice cream, you know Tim and ice cream, loves it!! It was so special, just to be alone with him. Now, I sit here alone, crying and missing him, my heart is aching.

Just recently, I watched a movie, "the wedding singer", at the end he sings to her, he sings, "I want to grow old with you," I always thought that I would grow old with Tim, but instead he is gone too young.We were suppose to minister together, share together, grow old together, watch our children get married and enjoy our grandchildren together. I miss his big hugs and comforting words. I miss his laughter and crazy ways. I miss him making me laugh. I miss his support in making decisions for the children. I miss him!! He was such a good, good, loving, caring man, I know that I was very spoilt. I thank God for all the precious memories and that Tim is in the presence of God, although I wish right now he could be in my presence. He'd be up making breakfast, being "excessively" happy, tapping the counter with his knife (waiting for the toast) and singing a Jesus song!! Oh, how I miss that! Then he would call us to breakfast at 8am. and we would sit down, have breakfast while he read us devotions, then he would pray for us, pray for our day. We would all pray the "Our Father, Which Art in Heaven..." And our day would begin. A great way to start any day! I hope you all start your day this way because it does make a difference, it keeps your focus on the Lord and gives you peace, strength and help, where you need it.

Once again, thanks for your love, prayers and support. I know I will be okay, the tears that are falling today only bring healing. Our God is faithful, loving and true. He will help me get though this day and the next. I comfort myself by thinking, "Tim is in the presence of the Lord and he is very happy!"

Quick note: I still need a car for Josiah, perferably this weekend because he is coming home today, yahoo!! Please pray for this miracle.Also, I will be seeing a lawyer today for advice on my ICBC claim. ICBC is being a bit of a pain. I don't want to cause problems, I just want to get what I need to get. I feel I am being reasonable. Pray that they will settle soon, I don't want to take this into 2008, I've been through enough in the last years. Thanks for your prayers!!

Lot of love and blessings to you all!! Esther

Update

2007-10-11T15:04:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

It seems that we continue being stretched in our walk with God. On Sept.24 Josiah was in another accident. I thank the Lord that he is ok. The car was totalled and ICBC gave me what I had paid for it, so now it's back to car hunting!

Thanks giving was filled with mixed emotions. Missing Tim but thankful to have all the kids home. Jos came home Fri. evening (10pm., from Kelowna) and Joel (2am., from Victoria). I felt so blessed to have them around me, they are such amazing children. I love the way that they get along and love each other. It was so evident as I watched them over the weekend. I am so blessed! Thank you Jesus!! I am also very blessed to have Mom and Dad living here in WL. We all had dinner together as a family on Sun. and had a great time visiting.

I have not been able to go to the grave site yet. Joel has been the first one to go, he went on Sun. It was very emotional as I expected. Each step is healing and we need to take these steps.

One of our friends, Candy Hilton, made 3 poster board collages of Tim and our family. The pictures are great and the captions are wonderful. Each time I look at them the tears flow, I know that this is healing too.

I will try to stay in touch better. It was suggested to me that shorter more frequent entries would be better so I will try that.

Thank you for your love and support, Love and Prayers, Esther

Catching Up

2007-09-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

It's been 3 weeks since the last entry. There has been alot happening in the Wade household. The day after the last entry, Jos and I left to move him to Kelowna, we were just an hour down the road going thru the town of 100 Mile, when all of a sudden a big truck with a big horse trailer pulled out in front of us! Everything happened so fast! Next thing I know we are sitting with the motor steaming, airbags hanging out and I felt pain. The man was sitting in his truck peering at us thru his window.I asked Jos if he was ok, he said he was but the lap top had disappeared, it was on his lap when we hit, he found it later on, it had shot to the back of the van when we hit! I was glad that he was ok. We got out and when I got to the other side of the van I felt quissy and crumbled to the ground, Jos caught me and we noticed that my face and both wrists were badly swollen. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. The ambulance attendance were very funny and nice! They treated us so great at the hospital. I had some xrays taken, thankfully nothing was a broken. We spent the night there and Todd Hale drove down the next morning to take Josiah to Kelowna. Todd is my hero!! He is a special caring person and I pray that God blesses him in an amazing way!

We are now dealing with ICBC, they wrote the van off, so now we have to settle, their first offer was not good so I am holding out for a better one. We put in an injury claim, my wrists were sore, especially the right one, I had to take pain killers, wear a tensor and a sling for the first week. They feel better but if I move the right one too much it hurts. I have a Doc appt. on Mon. The biggest problem for me are my legs, they cramp up every day at any time. I especially don't like it when they cramp in the middle of the night or while at work. The Doc. will be able to tell me more about that. Josiah had a bruise inside his left leg, a welt across his chest and a rash on his left arm, I am checking in on him to make sure there are no after affects. He's such a strong guy that he probably doesn't even notice pain. He's home this weekend, I finally found a car for him and he has his road test on Mon. then he can drive his car home. I miss him so much I am so glad he's home!

It seems that there is one drama after another, thankfully God's grace is sufficent for us and he will continue to take care of us. He has a plan for our lives and we will continue to walk with Him and seek after him!

Josiah is really liking it in Kelowna. He is attending an amazing church and God is moving in his life in an incredible way!! He's also getting involved in playing his keyboard. One of his roommates is in a band, sings and writes his own music, I have listened to his music and it is great! Jos has stable and encouraging mentors in his life!! I thank God for this! School is going good, he is adjusting and making friends.

Jeremiah has really taken off with skateboarding. He gets together with a number of his buddies everyday to practice and learn new tricks. He is very good at it. He started guitar lessons and is even keener than before, it really helps to have Todd and Troy to come play with him and encourage him. He's doing amazing on his guitar! He hasn't gotten into youth group yet but Brynn, our boarder, wants to go to youth, so he is going to encourage Jerm to go. It will be good for the both of them! It's nice having Brynn Archibald boarding here this year, Jerm needed a buddy to have around, and they get along great! It was a God thing. God is so good!

Rae is immersed in her work and loving it and they love her!! She is doing a wonderful job and I am very proud of her! I don't see her very much because she is so busy but at least I know she's in town and I can track her down if I need to. She has her own appartment and car. She is also going to do foster care in the near future.

Joel is in Victoria and working as a painter for a man who has his own painting business. He's learning alot and appreciates his new boss so much. He's getting back into the Young Adult group on Thurs. and says that he is being ministered to, good for him!! I miss him! He'll be coming home for Thanks Giving. He is looking into being a French Immersion Elementary Teacher so when he comes home, a French teacher of ours is going to help get him started as to what he needs and what bursaries are available. I am excited for him, he has a gift with working with people and I know that he will do great in this field!

I am back to work, Mon. to Fri., 20 hrs. a week. It is so nice being back with the kids and teachers, I am so blessed to have such an amazing job! I was going to do respite but I found that it would be too much for me at this time. I am still working thru paper work and now ICBC. There are also still a lot of "firsts." On Sept. 12 would have been 27 yrs. since Tim asked me out. This will be our first Thanks Giving without him. These are emotional times but we get thru them. I was just looking at out Swiss pictures, the first time we went in 1989, we were so young! We had such a great time, it brought floods of memories and tears. I am glad that we have pictures and videos of our family times. It's important to look at them and let the healing flow.

Today is a special day. YFC is doing a dedication to Tim, it starts at 12 and goes to 3pm. They are dedicating the rink to him and we will be putting hand prints on the wall beside it. It's one of those sweet but hard moments. I feel honored that they are doing this. I gave them some nice pic. of Tim and they will blow one up to put in the youth center. We are praying for sunny weather. I suppose I should head out soon, it is getting close to 12.

Thank you for your love and support! Here's my email address if you ever what to drop me a personal line, sterstar60@yahoo.ca

God bless you all!! Love and Hugs, Esther

Keeping Busy

2007-08-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! It's been a while since I blogged. We've been a pretty busy around here. Our trip to Washington was great. As usual Hannah spoiled us rotten, looking after us and feeding us great food. Took the boys "back to school" shopping and found some great clothes and deals. We had an awesome time together! Josiah drove all the way back, on the big freeways, through rain and traffic jams! He was incredible!! He is now an expert "standard" driver, can even get it going when he's on an incline!
We got home Tues. evening and started our rearranging, decluttering, downsizing, and simplifying the house. Thankfully Pastor Wes and Jan are letting us use there storage space because I don't want to deal with our "stuff" right now, things of Tim's, alot of sentimental value but I just don't need the stuff. It was hard and found myself in tears quite often, but I know that I needed to get it done. I will be in a better emotional state next summer so I will deal with, what to do with the "stuff". Thanks pastor Wes and Jan, bless you!
Josiah and I leave for Kelowna tomorrow, we'll be packing up the van and taking his stuff down, get him settled, buy the things he still needs, give hugs {and cry} and then I will go visit my friend Donna for a day before coming back home.
I start work on Tues., then have to get scheduled for respite and get my boarder settled in. Not to mention trying to finishing organizing the house. It is a disaster right now, but it always looks worse before it gets better! Right?!
Joel leaves for Victoria tomorrow, he's been home for a couple of weeks, visiting friends and having some fun. He's been helping us clean things up too, so nice to have him home.
Well, got to keep cleaning, organizing and packing. Blessings to you all! Esther

Tidying up

2007-08-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

Hello, We've been home for a week now and actually got a number of things accomplished. Jeremiah has moved his room from upstairs to downstairs to Geans old room. Gean moved out this past week, so we cleaned up his room and Jerm is now in it. Gean is at Al and Elaines for now and has to decide where he wants to live by Sept. He has two options and they both are good, he's having a tough time deciding though, so pray that he makes the right choice.
Joel has been home all week and will leave tomorrow by noon, as usual we will miss him. He did some yard work for me and helped with sorting stuff from the shed. It's always so nice to have him home, I wish he could live here again but he needs to spread his wings and I don't want to stop him. He's doing good down in Victoria and I am so thankful that he will have a job when he gets there.
Josiah turned 17 on Sun. Aug. 12. We really didn't do much, just had a little dinner at home with Rae, Joel, Jos, Jerm and I. He didn't even care whether he had a cake. He's like Tim that way, he doesn't want a big deal made of himself, just being together was good.
Jos and I finally cleaned out the shed. Originally, Tim had asked Jos to help him, he said that he would sit outside on his wheelchair and Jos haul stuff out and Tim would tell him what to do with each item. On Tues. we started. It was very difficult because it was all Tim. I could barely talk for the tears and pain that were choking me. There is the fishing stuff, fly rods, casting rods and our ice fishing rods and gear, memories of all the fun we've had. He always took care of our rods, well, especially the girls. Rae went fishing with him more than any of us, she was Dad's fishing partner. He always made sure her shrimp were on right and everything was taken care of. When we went ice fishing, he drilled all the holes for us, made sure we were all set up with our gear and we had what we needed. He then would take care of himself. I hated killing the fish so of course he would come over and have to kill them for me, he was always so patient with us. I went fishing with him, once, and I sang the whole time, he never said anything and we never even got a bite. Later than evening when I said," we never even got a bite," he just commented that it's better to be quiet when fishing, oops!
Then there was all the camping gear, he made sure we had proper tents, stoves, heating lamps(in case some evenings were too cool) and all the other stuff that made camping fun. Sports stuff, baseball, golfing, skates, badminton, it's all Tim. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore and then they really started to flow when I saw his skis and boots. So, many memories of the love and fun we have shared with each other and the kids and he's not here anymore to take care of us and have fun. We miss him! Everything in the shed is Tim, some yard sale stuff, stuff he picked up that he thought other people could use. He was always thinking about others,"he would say, "you never know someone might need this."He was always so thoughtful and kind, this is why we have so much stuff in the shed, but it's okay, I will find homes for all of it in due time. Today Dad and Mom came over, I asked Dad to help me sort out all the fishing stuff. In a matter of time we were all crying, just remembering that this was a part of our Timmy. We eventually got it sorted, so that part is done and we are all planning to go ice fishing at Christmas holidays, like we always have, every year(except last year because Tim was too sick, apparently him and Rae talked about it but he just got too sick). We will go this year, as Rae put it, "In Memory of Daddy." We are so blessed to have had such an incredible man in our lives!!
There isn't too much left to do, I should be able to finish sorting tomorrow and then, it will be time to sort the house. I'm starting to get ready for back to work and school for the boys. I will be taking Jos to Kelowna on the 28th.
Rae is doing well at work. She loves her job and they love her down there, they are so good to her and I am so thankful for that.She also has a horse that she rides almost every day, this is very theraputic for her. At this time we do need things that we can enjoy so we don't get overwhelmed with sadness.
Well, thank you for checking in and thank you for your continued prayers, may God bless you all in a special way.
In His Grip, Esther

Thoughtful Day

2007-08-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

Well, we all made it home safely. I went to Washington just for a quick 5 days. On the way home I stopped at Tim Hortons in Abbotsford to use the washroom, when I came out there was the Mexico team!! It was so nice to see them all and give my 2 little boys big hugs! I sure missed those 2. They rode home with me, it was really nice to visit with them and hear about the trip. The house they built was dedicated to Tim, Jos and Jerm persented the keys to the family, they said that it was very emotional and hard to hold back the tears. I am so glad that they did this in Tim's memory, it was his very heart. He loved to go each year and love the people and reach out to them in this practical way.
It's hard being home again because this is where most of our memories are. I just don't know why but I seemed to spend alot of my days in tears. I was looking for a card in my trunk and I found a gift I had put in there for Tim for this Fathers Day. I had bought a white T-Shirt that said, "Best Dad, Hands Down!" and paints with it so the kids could put there hand prints on it. I was going to give it to him this Fathers Day but we didn't quite get there, he died 2 weeks before Fathers Day. I really miss him, alot!! Who's going to love me like he did?? I don't get the hugs anymore and the conversation is gone. I just wish I could hug him right now, I just want to tell him that I love him tons and he meant the world to me. Today, I just don't want to carry on, I need my little buddy and I really miss him!I have decisions to make and I wish I could just talk it over with him, pray about it together and wait for the answer. I miss his laugh and his corny jokes. Today I am wondering if I will ever stop missing him. I can't seem to turn off the tears. I know that they are part of the healing, I'm going to be okay. I have a CD on that Tim and I listened to alot the last month of his life. He would just lay there and quietly listen, I knew he was worshipping. He was in the presence of God and then one day he really did go into God's presence, where he is still worshipping and rejoicing.
I better go, can't stop the tears. Just had to touch base and let you all know that we are all home safe and sound. Joel is home for a few days. Right now all 4 kids have gone out, maybe that's why I am more emotional. I am blessed to have 4 wonderful children and they all love each other so much, I always see it when they are around each other. I thank God for this gift of love that we all have for each other. I am also thankful for the love that each one of you have shown us. May God bless you all for that!
IN HIS ARMS, Esther

On the road again!

2007-08-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
I arrived home safe and sound with my 1998 VW Golf on Mon. evening. It drove very well and I got incredible gas mileage! I got it inspected because you can't insure it until it is. They spent 2hrs. or more inspecting it, they must have used a fine toothe comb!! Anyways, it did not pass inspection, the upper strut plates were worn out. I got them replaced, so now I have to go back to get the okay. Then, I can insure it and I will be on my way to Washington to visit Hanna and Leeland. I am looking forward to spending sometime with them and going to their church, it is so alive and moving in the spirit of God! After a few days I will be going to visit in Ephrata, to visit friends and sisters. Rachelle will be getting home on Sun. and Joel will be here Tues. and the Boys and I will be home Thurs. It will be so nice to be all together again!! We hope to go out to some lake.
Mom and Dad are doing good, the garden they put here is fantastic, I had a feed of beet tops (I made a salad). Of course it is difficult for them, I can't even imagine, I don't want to imagine, what it would feel like to loose a child. I know how much I miss Tim but how much more do they ache. We are thankful that we have the Lord to comfort us. He constantly reminds me that Tim is rejoicing in his presence. This really helps me. Sometimes I am crying and I think of the joy Tim brought me, I think of something he has said or done that was so funny and then I smile with tears. I can't help myself, were talking Tim Wade, the little guy that always could make us laugh, that could always find something good in everything. He could even get me to smile when I was furious with him, I didn't think that was fair, since I really was mad at him and I wanted to stay that way for a while. Well, it sure makes me realize even more that Joy is what we need to bring each other. Forgive one another, reach out and love, because in the scope of things, it really isn't worth being upset, it actually shortens your day. So, if you want to be happy go do something silly and make someone laugh or at least try to get them to crack a smile!! This is what Tim use to do. Seriously, he would tell me that someone looked up happy, sad or grouchy and he would tell me that he was going to go over there and see if he could make them smile. Sometimes it was a big challenge but he was up to it! Then he'd say,"it was a tough one, but they cracked a smile." What a crazy guy!! Just think, if we all made a point of doing that this world and our lives would always be a happy place to be. Truly Tim had the joy of the Lord and I want to carry that torch and I want to challenge you to do the same. Of course that involves, "laying down your life for your friends." Take your focus off you, look to the needs of others and before you know it your feeling better and your problems become smaller. Tim sure left me with tons of memories and a truly incredible Godly example of how I should live, Thank you Timmy, I love you and I miss you!! I miss not being able to share my joys and concerns,I miss not being able to cuddle him at night and reaching for him in the morning. I miss his great hugs and slobbery kisses,but I will be okay.
I was going thru his busy drawer and right on top was a plastic shoppers drug mart bag and in it was my anniversary card for this year. He was thinking about me as usual, I cried for a long time. It said, "for my wife on our anniversary. I want you to know that I love you for being the best wife any man could hope for."Now I am crying again. He was planning ahead. He didn't quite make it, he passed away 2 wks before our 26th. ann. What a sweet heart, what a thoughtful sweet little person and he's my husband! Did you know that he was crazy about me. He loved me more than I can imagine. I was spoiled, cared for and dearly loved, I didn't really deserve it, I was such a challenge to him.He lived the character of God! That's what I am going to do too!!
Blessings to you all!! Thank you for your love and comments!
Praising God for His love and goodness! Esther

Timmy

2007-07-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone, I am heading for Prince George any minute now, just waiting for a phone call to meet someone to get a ride to PG and then I'll take the bus to Dawson Creek in the morning. My friend will pick me up there otherwise I have to wait 4 hours to get the bus to Grande Prairie. Steve lives 45 minutes from Dawson, so it will be nice to not have to sit there for 4hrs. I am buying a 1998, VWGolf with only 97,000km and just one owner. I am excited to have a good, economical dependable vehicle!!

I finally went thru Tim's clothes today and I had a very hard time. It took a long time. So many times I just had to bury my face in one of the T-shirts, they hold memories, lots of them, hockey games, Casa por Christo, YFC, Hot Spot and baseball games, but mostly, I got lots of hugs and cuddles while he wore those t-shirts, I can't give them up quite yet, so I'll just keep them and hug them on occassion. I will wear some of them, even though there big, just because they are cozy and it will feel kind of like a hug. I am trying not to cry, I did enough of that today, but it's hard, I miss that little cuddly guy. He was always so good at giving hugs!!

I got a card from one of the Katimavik project leaders that Tim worked with. She described Tim so well, as I read it I began to cry. It says,"I wanted to write to you and your family during this extremely difficult time to let you know how much Tim meant to us during our stay in Williams Lake and how much he inspired and motivated youth from all over Canada (in such a short time). When I first moved to WL to embark on the Katimavik journey, Tim was one or the first people I met as he was the first person to reach out to me and offer me anything I needed. From that day on, Tim was an incredible part of the Katimavik family offering constant support, friendship, humor, resources, encouragement, and inspiration. His faith and incredible love for life (and everything in it) have touched me and the other members of Katimavik who had the absolute pleasure of meeting him. We are so terribly sorry to hear of his passing and wish to send our utmost love and support to you and your dear family. Love Baili Clarke (project leader 2005)" Included in the card were words of encouragement from other Katimavik members. I felt so blessed. I am still finding out all the lives he touched and encouraged. It challenges me to do the same. God wants us to live lives of loving and serving others. It is the way to true joy, just look at Tim he was one crazy happy guy, sometimes I was afraid to take him somewhere incase he had to cheer up someone in some crazy way!! Actually though, these crazy things made me laugh and smile too. I just think about him and I am smiling!! Probably you too!! I thank the Lord for memories and for the many caring people out there that are sharing them. Bless you all!!

Thank you Katimavik for you comments, Amelie Cote ( I will try to one day come and visit you in Montreal again. Tim and I had such a nice time with you and your family!!), Ami Anderson, Andrea Eadie, Heather Bos, Stacey Crouch and Kate Hughes. God bless you all!!

I am thankful for all the cards, phone calls and emails, with comments of love and encouragement. It is this type of love and concern that helps hearts heal and more memories are made. Blessings to all of you!

I talked to Joel and he will be job hunting. He is doing better, sounded happier and seems to know better what he wants to do. Keep praying for guidance and direction for him. The boys leave in 6 days for Mexico and I will leave to visit friends. There will be someone here to house sit and look after our 3 little dogs. We'll be home on Aug.15. I'll keep in touch to let you all know what were up to.

Baili wrote,"Tim-a bright light of love and pure magic!'' I agree.

Wrapped in His Healing Arms, Esther

Sunday Sharing

2007-07-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comments, they blessed me! It is an emotional week and it will probably be like this for a while. The tears just come as I think of or see different things that belonged to Tim. I try not to break down in public because I don't want to be sobbing so I do it at home, in the van or at church during worship so I'm not too loud. Today in church was hard, I couldn't even stay to watch the video about the Mexico trip. They dedicated the house to Tim, it was incredibly special, Pastor Corwin and Todd are amazing! I only watched part of it from the foyer then I went to the van to cry,( it's all good though because tears do bring healing). Tim loved Mexico, he loved the people that went on the trip and he loved serving by building and sharing Jesus with the family that got the house. He use to do all the video taping, I'm glad for that because we can watch it, hear his voice, hear the joy that he had in what he did.

I've been working on alot of paper work, changing over everything from "our" names to mine, this has been so hard because reality is starting to set in that my little sweetheart is not coming home and I have to go on alone. I opened his wallet and there was his drivers license, his happy face looking at me, I cried and kissed his face, I sure miss him(I'm sorry that I'm so sobby but I know you all care and understand, even some of you have gone through this and can understand, thanks). Yesterday, I found his t-shirt on the drier I buried my face in it and cried and cried, I wish he were in it so I could get a hug and snuggle. He was such a cuddler and a smoocher!! I use to call him, the kissing phantom, always had to have a kiss!! I am glad he was that way because I got lots of hugs and kisses and lots of words of encouragement. I miss all that, I miss him. I've been deciding what to do with the vehicles and house stuff and so many times I thought to talk to him, then, I realized he wasn't there. I do know that Jesus is there and He is carrying me. I feel an emptyness, it hurts, it aches. I know that time heals, I know that Jesus heals, I know that I will have all the precious memories without all the pain, one day I will. I know that each of you that read this blog are praying for us, love us and care and for that I am so thankful, may God bless you all. I even know that some of you weep as I do, we cry together because we miss the little guy, thanks. Keep my babies in your prayers, my little girl is such a Dad's girl, I know that she is hurting alot. Joel wants to call Dad and talk about baseball, jobs and finances but he can't. He has been really depressed, he doesn't have a job yet, but does want to go to school in the fall. He has been sitting at home, I encouraged him to force himself to get out, go make plans for school, he said he would. I will check up on him tomorrow evening. Josiah is, at this moment(because I'm crying), playing the piano. He use to do that for his Dad to bless him because Tim use to love hearing him play, it brought him peace and joy. I am so thankful how things have worked out for him to live in Kelowna, I know that he will get alot of love and support there. Jeremiah remains quiet and stays close at home. When we are alone he talks more and I try to talk about Tim alot. I can see the pain in his eyes, I pray that he will not hold it in. He is getting tall, Tim use to say that he would be the tallest, I think that he is right!

We have been invited out to Tyee Lake this week. Marilyn Wheeler said to come out anytime, so we decided that we will go out Tues. The boys can stay out there all week, I will have to come in for some appointments, thankfully it is only 1/2hr. out of town. Mom and Dad Wade will go out on Thurs. It's so beautiful out there. I am looking forward to it, the gentleness of the water and the fresh air. I like going to sleep with the window open, especially when there is a bit of a breeze, you can hear the water lapping against the shore, it helps me fall asleep. I like having a fire outside, hearing the water and looking up at the stary sky. Yes, it will be good for us to get out there. It will be nice to jump in and cool off too!! I hope we can fish out there because would like to do some fishing.

Before I sign off, if anyone knows of anyone going from Williams Lake to PG or Dawson Creek, I need a ride. I have to go to Grande Prairie to pick up a car. So, please let me know, thanks!

Well, friends, thanks, and God bless you all!! I know that God loves us and He walks with us. Death is part of life, it's only for a moment and then we will all be united, so I try to remind myself of that, it helps the healing. I know that my Timmy is looking down at me and he is saying,"you'll be here in a moment too." I just wish our moments were shorter, hehehe! In His time He makes all things beautiful! "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance," Eccl. 3:4. Sending Love and appreciating all the wonderful people out there in blog land!! Esther

2007-07-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

Hi! It just seems that I am having a really emotinal week. Every where I look I see Tim and I cry. So, many times today I wanted to share something with him and couldn't. I keep reminding myself, Tim Wade is not coming back, and it breaks my heart and I cry. I know that some how the tears will stop and the ache will go away but it just feels like it never will.
I talked to Joel today, hadn't talked to him in about 6 days, which seemed long to me. He still doesn't have a job. He is struggling with grief, he said that he feels so tired and has no motivation. I told him that that is part of gieving and we will have a number of those days but we have to make ourselves move on. Make plans, try to plan something to look forward to, like going out with friends. I had a friends phone me yesterday and took me for a walk, it was so nice, thanks beautiful friends!! And an other friend invited Jerm and I out for supper tonight, I was looking forward to that all day and we had a wonderful time visiting, they let me share as much about Tim as I wanted to and we talked alot about Jesus. So, I encouraged Joel to make himself do things, grieving is hard, sometimes your sad, tired, aching, crying, even angry and sometimes we blame. There is no way around it, it has to be faced and Jesus gives us the strength. I don't understand what has happened but I do know that Jesus loves me, he is soverign and He is our healer. This is a deep subject, healing. I can not even try to understand it. I understand that my savior loves me and that heaven is our destiny, to all those who believe, and we will be there in a moment. Well, at least for those already in heaven, it is but a moment and for us it seems much longer. Our goal is heaven. We will all one day die and we must have a destiny, where are we going??
Anyways, kind of got off on a little tangent there. Joel and I had a nice talk, I just love that wonderful little guy. He will try this week to go to the Metis association and check out funding for college, I gave him his file number. He is hoping to up grade his marks, work hard and then next year go to university to pursue a career, he's thinking about being a French Immersion Elementary teacher. I think that he would be wonderful at this! I reminded him to keep seeking God and He will guide your steps. Please keep praying for him. Also, that others down there will call him up and encourage him to get out to do stuff. He still does not have a job, good thing he has a birthday(July22) coming up and I blessed him with some money, haha! In case some of you didn't know, he is back in Victoria.
Rachelle came over for supper last night, we had a nice visit. It is always nice to be with her, she is a very special person and I see the hand of God on her life. She bought a white Mazda, 4door, it is so nice, I got to see it last night. It feels good to know that she has a good dependable vehicle. She said that she is now an officially independant adult. Tim use to take care of us by handling the finacial stuff and making phone calls about vehicles, insure our vehicles and giving finacial advice. Well, now we all have to learn to do it ourselves. We realize that we were all so blessed, ok, maybe even spoiled! Tim took good care of us all, he was such a caring sweetheart!
I haven't heard from Josiah yet, it's been 2 whole days now, hahaha! I admit it, I miss the little guy already! Jerm and I are hanging out more, it's good just to have little chats.
I tried again today to sort through Tim's clothes but couldn't do it, it hurt too much. I will try again tomorrow, I will eventually be able to do it. Joel was telling me how he thinks of "Dad" every moment of the day and then he said he was thinking about me and how hard it must be to wake up and not have that special person beside you. It is hard. Then, I want to tell Tim about the kids and what I am planning for the day and then I remember he is not there and I cry. Then, I wipe the tears and talk to Jesus and I know that everthing is going to be okay!We are all wrapped in the arms of Jesus!! Love you all, thanks for your prayers, love and support. Thanks for the encouraging comments!! Blessings to you all!! Esther

Kelowna trip

2007-07-09T23:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I got home tonight from my trip to kelowna about 10:30pm. Had to do a few things, than decided to check the blog site. I was so blessed and encouraged to see the comments, thanks everyone who reads it. It means alot to me, I know I am not alone!
My van is in great working order and I am thankful to have it although I do know that I will need to sell it soon. I really don't need a vehicle that big. I am buying a VW Golf at the end of July from some friends, it is a great deal!
Josiah and I had a wonderful time in Kelowna, we got to met the young man that Josiah will be room and boarding with and he is an amazing young man!! He will be 21 at the end of July and he bought a condo 2 yrs. ago, very smart thing to do! He is so cool! Him and Jos hit it off right away. We arrived at youth group at the end( we left WL very late), and got introduced to Andrew, Jos's new buddy! Andrew loves the lord very much and is involved in the church. I am so excited for Jos, I know that it will be good for him, but I'm sure going to miss him. I left him down there to go camping with friends and I already miss him!!
Well, I cried most of the way home, until I had no tears left. I am missing my Timmy so much that it hurts, I ache! And there go the tears again! I just want to share with him all about Jos and Andrew. You know, after sharing so much for 26 yrs. it's hard not to be able to share. I know he sees me from heaven, I just wish he were here to hold my hand and sit next to me.
Thanks for your love and prayers. I know that I will get through this. Just can't stop the tears right now! In His arms, Esther

2007-07-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

It just seems like there are alot of obstacles that have been coming our way lately. First trying to figure out if I will get life insurance than trying to get a damage deposit back that I had loaned someone and today, I am told that I need a new fuel pump. I don't have much of a choice because that is the only dependable vehicle I have right now. As it is I just put a new transmission in the van in Feb., that was $4,275 which of course went on visa, and then the body work for $1,400(Mar.), new tires, $450(Apr.) and now the fuel pump, did I mention that we put in a new alternator and starter July '06. The positive thing is, the van will be in great shape. Do you know anyone who is looking for an Astro van, in great working order. It should last many more year. Anyways, despite the obstacles, I have a peace, God always works out all the details. Infact, I just recieved a cheque today that will cover the cost of the fuel pump, from someone that said the Lord laid it on there heart to send me the money, so tomorrow I can pay for the fuel pump. Praise the Lord!! Jesus does these things to remind us that He loves us alot!! So, if you have a need don't hesitate to bring it before the Lord, He is faithful to answer our prayers.

I checked the boys funding for their trip to Mexico and it's all good!! They are ready to go and so excited!

I am still reading the book on heaven and it is very interesting. Randy Alcorn has done years of research, using the word of God as his evidence. I am excited about heaven, just think, we will be reunited with all those we love, live in the most beautiful place imaginable with our Savior!! Just think we will be able to physically hug Jesus!! Wow!

"Many things about tomorrow ,I don't seem to understand but I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand!" (part of a song I learned as a kid)

Holding His hand, Esther

Meditations

2007-07-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

It's sure nice to read the comments on the blog. Thank you to those of you who left comments, it blessed me!
I got my days a little mixed up on the Sat., I wrote Fundraising Fri. Jos pointed out that it was actually Sat., oops! Sat. was a great day, seeing people and visiting and raising money for the boys to go to Mexico. Yesterday, Sun. was also a great day. I enjoyed the Cowboy church and the speaker singer really ministered to me. I like it when people challenge my faith. It causes me to dig into the word of God and get into the presence of the Lord. I find when I take the time to quietly worship the Lord, I get into His presence and when this happens He gives me revelations. Sometimes it is revelations about people, sometimes about what is happening or going to happen. By the time I am done I feel an incredible closeness to Jesus and I am able to walk in His joy.

The singer yesterday shared how he had to eventually get rid of all his "religious" books and get back into the word of God. I have always thought of that. There are so many Christian self help books or stories, testimonies, teaching books, etc. I don't think that there is anything wrong with these as long as we remember to eat the meat and spit out the bones. What I find is that we can get caught up reading so much of these and forget the Word of God. If there is any spare time for reading I think that it should be spent with the Lord, when we do this trials may come, but we will stay strong because Jesus brings his words of promise and reminds us that He is with us and will strengthen us. Also, how much time do we spend watching Christian television or listening to Christian prgms? These are good too, BUT how much time do you spend quietly with Jesus and in His word?? Do you know Jesus? Do you feel His heart beat? Do you know His will for your life? Do you know that, "...all things work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose", (Rom.8:28) And "I tell you the truth anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father," (John 14:12) Just read His word, read about all the great things He did and He says that, greater things than these we will do, wow!! The only way we can do these things is by knowing the Father, as you read the word you will see that Jesus was totally connected with the Father, He would go off by himself and spend time with His Father, because He did this He could do the works of His Father. Think of all the great men and women of our time, what do they have in common? Each day they spend quality time in the presence of God and then they stay in the presence of God, that's what Jesus did too. Didn't Jesus come as a man to leave us as an example(Philip. 2) What an example to follow!! I know I fall very short but I will never give up, I will seek after God and walk in His presence.The only reason I have peace, strength and comfort is because of the love and arms of Jesus around me and I have the hope of heaven, where I know my Timmy is!! I challenge you, spend some time with Jesus each day and I will guarantee that you life and thinking will be changed. The word of God is so powerful, it does challenge the heart! Read the gospels and imagine that you are the one sitting there listening to Jesus, He's speaking to you!

I think I got a little carried away but I do get excited about Jesus! He is amazing and He loves us more than anyone else and He cares about us! Just imagine, you are never alone, you can talk to Him 24-7 and He always answers our prayers, it is, "yes, no or wait a while."

Well, I don't know exactly what today will bring but I know that it will be a great day! God bless you all!! Cradled in His Arms, Esther

Fundraising Friday

2007-06-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of the Williams Lake Stampede, so there will be alot going on in town. Tim, the kids and I are usually gone to the YFC ministry conference, so we haven't been to a stampede in years. I got up early this morning to help Rachelle judge. She was asked to be one of the judges for the parade, so off I went at 8am. It was really nice to see the floats and costumes and we were able to come up with some winners. After this I headed home to pick up the boys for fundraising. YFC set up a boothe at the street party right downtown. Josiah and Jeremiah are going on the Mexico missions trip again this year and they needed to do some fundraising, so from 11 to 4 today they sold snow cones and I barbequed hotdogs. We did really well, and it was great to see friends and get more hugs, hugs are really nice!! Tomorrow we will go to Cowboy church and do more fundraising, this time it will be at the park. I hope to at least go to the rodeo once. I really like the rodeo and would hate to miss out on going.
It was different being at the fundraiser and not having Tim around helping out, talking, joking and making us laugh, but I knew he was watching us. I always think about how Tim can see me and hear me and that he is so happy in heaven. It helps me not to feel so sorry for myself for not having him because the truth is, he is out of that wheel chair and is having a great time being in the presence of God. I let myself cry and miss him and feel sad sometime, then I smile because I know that he is smiling too. I know Tim, and his greatest desire for me, the children and others, was that we would all be happy. I remember one time he preached a message and titled it, "enjoy Jesus,"it was awesome!! So, he wants us to be happy!
As far as healing.... well, Jesus is still our healer. Things don't always work out the way we want them to but I do know that His ways are greater than our ways. I do know that He loves us and going to heaven is not a bad thing, it is something I look forward to but I have to walk my journey here and the greatest purpose of all is that we tell everyone we meet that Jesus loves them and that we have an eternal home. It's going to be so exciting when we all gather in heaven, what a party that will be!! Tim just got blessed a little sooner than most of us and he's partying already! A thousand years is but a moment to the Lord, which means we will all be in heaven in a moment!! I do miss him, my little buddy! I take each day moment by moment and remind myself often that he is happy and "all things work together for good to those who love the Lord," Rom.8:28. Sometimes life seems so hard, until we give it to Jesus, then it starts to make sense. I'm starting to understand the issue of healing a little better. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight,"prov.3:5&6
Bless you all!! Cradled in His Arms, Esther

reconnecting

2007-06-29T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Esther here. I've been reading the blog lately, going back to all the other postings. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry. When I read them I feel inspired and I smile. Tim was an amazing person and he really loved God and others. He was so optimistic and up beat, even at home here he seldom complained about anything, except for the frustration of the wheel chair. I love his challenge to us all, to really love and serve, obviously this is the key to true happiness because that was Tim, Mr. Happy!! Infact, some mornings he was excessively happy. Ever live with someone like that? It's quite funny, he would be making toast and tapping his knife on the counter as he sang a song. When breakfast was ready he would, in the lowest voice he could find,(bass) say,"BREAKFAST!" We would all gather at 8am. He would read a devotional as we ate, what a better time to do it, we were a captive audience. Then, we would pray, thus our mornings would start, with positive input and good thoughts!! We will continue with this tradition, it's good for the soul!
I am so glad that he started this blog. I will be reading and rereading it for years. I usually can only read so much and then I am worn out from crying. My husband was a little sweetheart and an inspiration, how blessed I am to have known him for as long as I did. He died 2 weeks before our 26th anniversary and then it was Father's Day. Those were very difficult days but we made it. God will help us through and the healing will come.
The other thing I loved about the blog were the comments left by others, Tim really loved that part too, we would look forward to who logged in and left a word or two, this always encouraged us because it meant people were thinking about us and praying for us. Some days, I would be at the computer reading the blog while Tim sat at his chair with his lap top, and then I'd be chuckling or sniffling, depending whose comment I was reading. Thanks to all of you who read and left comments. I want to continue this blog for a while, while we continue to walk this journey, and your comments are very welcome! If you have any questions, let me know, either here on the blog or at sterstar60@yahoo.ca, I'll do my best to answer them. Each one of you was very special and important to Tim, as you still are to me. Take care, In His Grip, Esther

June 8th memorial service

2007-06-13T01:53:00.002-07:00

hey this is todd...
i've recently uploaded
the slideshow and movie clips
that was presented on june 8th
at the celebration service for
tim...please let people know about these
links so that if they missed the celebration
service at least they can see these two media
presentations on tims life.
thanks and have a saweet day...
peace.

Slideshow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUgZChKa6sY

Video Presentation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY2C9QBv1rg

instructions...highlight to copy and paste in address bar or
type one address into the address bar depending on which media presentation you would like to see...

friday june 8th

2007-06-05T00:44:00.000-07:00

hi there, this is todd hale posting on behalf of the wades.
Esther will write more in depth later on, next week.
but just so everybody knows, tim passed away
last week on thursday in washington. the
celebration service will be held this
friday, 11am at cariboo bethel.
may God bless you as you
continue to pray for
the wades.

update on Tim

2007-05-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

May21st Hi to everyone Tim is continuing to regain his strenghth daily.He is eating and drinking. He is off all his meds. and is in no pain.His body is detoxing he is very tried and rests alot.Tim and Esther are done the first set of healing seminars.Tim goes outside most days
(it is raining in Washington right now just spoke to Tim on the phone).Esther is also doing well. They will be doing another 3 weeks.They will let us know what is happening after that.Tim and Esther Send out a big THANK-YOU to everyone who has prayed for them and wished them well sent cards,gifts,meals for the kids and anything else that I forgot.Soooo keep prayin and believing for truly we serve a great and healing God. That's a wrap from Cecile

Grad Weekend in Abbotsford

2007-04-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

Jen Crosby here, reporting from Abbotsford! We have the pleasure of hosting the Wade's this weekend for Rachelle's Graduation from Summit Pacific College (ALL the Wade's). I think we've got 9 extra people sleeping here tonight! We're having a lot of fun and Rachelle's grad ceremony was lovely.

I'm going to teach Esther how to do this blogging thing shortly, so she can keep you all informed when Tim has a down week. He's had the flu, which kept him in bed, but his energy and appetite are improving now.

He had a great time at Rachelle's Grad banquet last night and at the ceremony tonight. And he's having a great time snoozing right now.

Friday Flying

2007-04-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, i am flying but not too high. I just got back to balance after all of the craziness this past few days. Yes, i was a tad messed up with the flu. Now, I am feeling good and looking forward to a nice evening of watching the hockey play= offs. Tomorrow, I am looking forwrd to going to the first monthly YFC men'breakfast. Our guest speaker,this month, will be Gerry Price.
Yes, lots is happening around here. We are excited and thankful for everything. In fact, we are so busy with everything that we can hardly contain ourselveles.

Anyhow, it sure has been sunny and warm and than again windy and chilly. So, it is kind of crazy outside but we are still happy, saved and FREE.
So, see ya.
Love and prayers,
Tim

Tuesday Tingles

2007-04-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

Hey, thanks for the comments. It is a real blessing to hear from you all.
My co-workers from all over our YFC Region have been a huge blessing financially.
Right when our transmission went on our van, which cost $4,100.,we received $2,700.,
from staff. Now that was a blessing!
So, what else is new? I was so tired today that i slept most of it away. That was was
weird. I would wake up and find myself a way of schedule. Oh well, tomorrow is here soon now.
Well,bye for now,
Tim

Monday moods

2007-04-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

So, here we are again, chatting away and trying to be good. Ya, trying to be good.
I hope you all had a good Easter celebration over the weekend. We joined in with ministerial celebration and the we had Sunday Easter at our church. SO, With Joel and Rachelle home for the weekend, it was extra special. Anyhow, blessings your way and try hard to be good.
Love and prayers.

Tim
Oh ya, i thought i was being open and honest,

Sunday, sipp

2007-04-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

Sunday, all thumbs what a deal that was. Hey, what a deal it is that we can read and enjoy God's Word. Yes, we are so blessed! Joel and Rachelle were home visiting us and we sure had a great time hanging out and visiting. Did i mention earlier that so many people came and did a bunch of yard word at our place from our church. Wow. What a blessing!
Bye for now,
Tim

Saturday Song

2007-04-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

Well,are you ready for the sillys? I'm not. So, last night our internet was not working. Praise the Lord because it is working today. Guess what? About 20 people came over from our church today and did a huge amount of yard work for us. What a huge amount of work. Truck loads of stuff was trucked out of the yard. I am still amazed at all the work done. We even had painting done, plumbing completed and more work done on the deck. So, Ya, we are so blessed silly.
Please keep praying for me, i know it sounds selfish but hey, whatever. My legs are really trying to drive me crazy. We sure had a nice time at the Bethel church last night where we joined in with the ministrial churches and enjoyed a choir Easter service. I even had some very special people pray for me. So, I was extra blessed.
Hey, blessings your way,
Tim

Tuesday, Toons

2007-04-03T16:21:00.000-07:00

Hey, what's up? I haven't heard from you all for awhile. What have you been up to lately? Are you behaving? Of course you are. The weather here has been nice. We sure had nice weather on the island. Joel sure enjoyed showiing us his new place.
Anyhow, i was at our monthly Board meeting with YFC. It was longer than usual but hey, we got through most of it.
I keep seeing how God wants to bless this ministry and use us to touch many lives. We really need to be willing to touch lives. I think the problem is that we are to busy with our own little issues.
Well, keep praying because I firmly believe that the flood gates of heaven are about to burst.Amen
Love you all,
Tim

Somewhat Snoring

2007-03-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

Good morning to you all,
I had a good sleep and trust that you did too. The weather has been somewhat strange around here. Right after we got home, it started to snow. Now that is crazy. Josiah got home on time to get to work. When we got home, we discovered that someone very special had come over to the house and shampooed our carpets and fixed a few things that will make it safer going up and down the stairs. So, thankyou Lord once again for the way you touch hearts to touch hearts.Amen.
Well, i better get ready, have my shower and prepare for the community nurse to come check me out. Remember, i just got home from a big trip to the island and back.
So, see ya,
Tim

Friday Flip

2007-03-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

Guess what? We made it home from visiting Joel on the island. It was so cool to see Joel and go out for dinner with his boss. Gean continues to be a big help keeping things in order for me. Of course, without Esther doing her thing, us guys would be in one big mess. Thank you so much for praying for us while on our trip. We feel so blessed!
Well, i am going to hit the sack and snooze now. My goofy foot needs some serious healing. Somehow, it had a huge blister or something, then the skin opened up and soaked my sock and bled some. The health nurse is coming over to get me into good working order. Should be interesting.
Ok, good night.
Tim

Thursday travels

2007-03-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

Ya, we are traveling still. We are now in a hotel in Abbotsford. Our friends were unable to put us up at their place so we are here. So, we are quite relaxed and tired. We have been so blessed once again on this trip. I always feel so spoiled and blessed on these trips. Thank you Lord!
It's time for bed. Night, night!
Tim

Wednesday walking

2007-03-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

So, here i am again visiting you on the net. I have been neglecting this special way of communicating. Right now, we are over on the island visiting our son, Joel. We just got back from going out for dinner with his boss. What a great time! We went for a drive around Beacan Hill Park. Then everyone took a turn pushing me around the trails. We ended up having a light shack at Ogden Point Tea House. That was a great time. The sun started to pound down on us while in the cafe. It was great too!
We will probably be leaving tomorrow after we visit Esther's uncle in Sydney. Oh well, short and sweet is ok too. We have had beautiful weather while here.
But, i am getting all kinds of pains so i know i have slow down some and if i need to travel, it will have to be by plane. Oh well, a plane is ok, especially when i need to get to Switzerland in a hurry. Esther and i really love that country. ok, especially the people there that we know. ok, especially the children of the parents that we know. yes, we are blessed!
Of course, to get to the island, you have to get there by ferry boat ride.(about 2 hours) It just so happens that i love ferry boat rides so i had a blast! Tomorrow it will all be daylight when we boat so that will be even better.
We will get to see Rachelle before we leave the lower mainland so that will be fun too. Fun,fun, fun, is what it is about!
Well, that is about it for now.
So, i will try to touch base tomorrow!
Tim

Monday Moods

2007-03-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

So, ya i have been neglecting my post. Esther got home yesterday, we chatted abouot stuff and decided to wait a day, and go to still see Joel for a couople of days on the island. So, today we repacking and getting things in line to to go. Of course, we had to line up a vehicle, so we are driving Nancy's vehicle with one of her boys. We will drop them off to do stuff in Burnaby then complete the trip to Joel's. All is good. It will be a very nice time for everyone. Hopefully we will have great weather and i'm sure lots of stuff is in bloom in Victoria now.
Some swelling has come back in my legs over the last coouple of days. I don't like that. I have to remember to elevate higher. Overall, I still feel good and smell good. I want to do a new eating program and i think it will be very important to the healing that we are looking for. I think i will keep the raw meet out of it, even though i did enjoy it quite a bit. Hey, you can't have everything.
Anyhow, I will try to connect with you all tomorrow evening from Joel's but I don't know if he has a connection.
See ya,Tim

Freaky Friday

2007-03-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

So, I thought we were going to Silverstar for all to snowboard, but the transmission went on the van. Oh well, maybe next time. I talked to Esther today, she is coming home tomorrow. Joel is disappointed that we are not coming to see him now. At least we will plan to see him.
Oh well, i guess i should go now. I will try to touch base later.
Tim

Howdy to you,

2007-03-21T22:50:00.000-07:00

What are you up to today? I went to the office for a few hours today but I got kinda tired fast. I will do some stuff at the office tomorrow but i will go the office in the morning before going in.
So, anyhow Esther will probably going to meet us in Vernon Friday. Then on Sunday we will probably to the island to visit Joel. It will be fun.
We really want to meet Joel's boss. Thatwill be fun.
Anyhow, got to go.
Tim

Tuesday tallies

2007-03-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it?
I almost forgot to leave a chat this day.
Sorry about that. SO, ESTHER is spendiing some time with Rachelle right now. AThey are fixing up Rachelle's grad dress together. Then they are doing supper together, and more hanging out together. She was so worn out from looking after me before she left for Abbotsford. I sure hope they have a good time together. Then Esther is probably going to join us at Vernon to go snowboarding with the boys and the Phipps family. We are taking them to Silverstar mountain for Friday night and Saturday. Esther loves boarding with the boys and of course, with Elaine Phipps. They will all have a great time boarding together. Of course,Gean and I will go to the hockey game
against Vernon and Trail. It is playoff time and we get to see one more game.(cool)
Anyhow, see ya,
Tim

Musical Monday

2007-03-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, I sure enjoy singing away in the little community hall in Horsefly. Just think, if the walls of that hall could speak, we sure would hear about some very interesting topics and get the truth on a bunch more.
Anyhow, what a beautiful day it is out today. I can hear Gean talking to the neighbor, Jeremiah is out skateboarding, Josiah is cleaning stuff for mom and mom of course, is cleaning and rearranging like most moms do.(I think the Spring cleaning bug has hit.)
Well, well, well, love you and see ya soon, i hope,
Tim

Sunday Smiles

2007-03-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

Smiles are very special. I love it when people smile. In fact, people look so much more positive and fun when they are smiling. Anyhow, what do you think?
It sure was nice to hear from my brother Dale tonight. I sure do appreciate family touching base. Today was one funny day. I was fun to do theservice at Horsefly church with Al. We took a bunch of friends out with us as well, so that was cool.
Everyone enjoyed Al telling them his grizzly story. I always like it.So, Spring Break starts tomorrow. I wonder what that will look like for the Wade family? I sure hope I can get the nose to stop running so i can enjoy the days ahead.
Anyhow, i also hope that my my dry mouth/feels like i am doing chewing tobacco will stop as well because it is driving me a little wacky as well.
Our friend Steve left for home today so I trust he is having a safe trip.
Well, bye for now and blessings your way.
L&P
T

Saturday slide

2007-03-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Hey, good day to you,
You know, having a shower sure feels good!
I am now, fresh and clean.
It is off to the Horsefly church tomorrow to do the service. I am
really lookinf forward to it. I have a few friends that are coming
as well. Of course, Al, will be there. Bruce Smith will be doing
the music and Esther and the rest will there to enjoy whatever
the Lord has for them. Yes, it will be one fun time. Church should be fun. Do I hear an Amen?
This past week has been spent coughing and spitting. Now that does not sound like a fun time. But thanks to my wife, I got through it without too
much trouble. Thanks Honey~!
Well, bless the Lord and chat at you later,
Tim

Thursday tickles

2007-03-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

Howdy partner,
Are you fine today?
Hey, today we received some great donations from theT-Wolves hockey club. We will beable to use the stuff for our summer camp program and we will beable to sell stuff at the store. That is so sweet! We are always being so blessed!
Right now, we have a group of kids going around collecting bottles and selling crosses to raise money for our summer mission trips. I can hardly beleive it is that time of year already. Even if they don't make it your way(in town), you can drop off any bottles at the recycling place and they will sort and count them for us. So, if you can drop off bottles for us, that would be great, thanks.
Well, i still am coughing away, but I am starting to feel better. So, thank you Lord!
Anyhow, chat soon,
See ya,
Tim

Wed.whistles

2007-03-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

So, how is you all today? I am blessed but just finishing off fighting a serious migraine. Oh well,
so all is well and i am trying to be good. We have our special friend Steve coming from Grande Prairie this weekend to visit and pray so that should be awesome. Plus, it is already Spring Break on Monday. Wow, that came fast. Well, speaking of fast, I will call it quits for now and not worry about anything. Amen, amen.
Ok, see ya,
Tim

monday mice

2007-03-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

Hey, have you seen the mice lately? If you haven't, i am sorry to hear that.
I am blessed and i know that you can be too, so be open and enjoy whatever
God brings your way. We have to be open, because the Lord wants to bless.
I feel so good about the new donation that is coming are way. There is a group
from Lacombe, AB that is coming to finish off the back part of our building. So,
we will have a basketball, hockey, ice hockey and other things happening in the
back, year round. Plus, they are going to buy a gas stove for inside and one for
the outside. Then all kinds of painting, plus installation of a shower. Wow, it
will be a great addition. Did I mention that there might be enough funds to buy
some matching furniture. That would be weird in a youth centre. Anyhow, that
would be really weird in a youth centre. Those mice would be so excited, but we
don't have mice.
Well, bye for now,
*********** Don't forget to come and pray on Wed. at the youth centre from 6:30-8pm. If you
can make it, i will see you there. **************************289 N.3rd Ave. 303-1429
Love and prayers,
Tim

Saturday slower

2007-03-10T16:00:00.000-08:00

Ya i got up slow and stayed slow pretty much until we had to leave for Ashley's grad.
That means i shouldn't be here right now because i am beiing wheeled down the driveway to go to the grad. Ya, that means see ya soon, but i do have to tell you about wheeling myself out of the church a few weeks ago. I popped a little wheely as Rich was putting down the small platformat the bottom of the stairs. Then i realized that i was already at the platform so i said to Rick as he put the platform down,"You are going to catch me aren't you", then it was down the ramp and of course i stuck into the ground and Rick automatically threw his arm out and caught me. As my heart started togo back into my body, i remember Cecile saying, "do you want me to push you?" Then i looked up and saw my wife with her eyeballs popped out wandering what just happened. Anyhow, it was quite the issue, but now i am late. (again)
Love ya all,
Tim

Friday Frosting(part2)

2007-03-09T18:24:00.000-08:00

Well, really,
So, how is you all? Is that right? Anyhow, I had a good day, minus some of the good.
So, I basically hung in there. So, i hope you had a better day than that. I don't know,
I guess i need to be careful and be a good husband and father. That alone is one huge
challenge. Do you like huge challenges? I didn't think so. But hey, who am I to say
what's what.
Anyhow, see ya again and be good.
Love and prayers,
Tim

Friday features

2007-03-09T10:30:00.001-08:00

Hi and see ya soon,
gotta go,
tim

Wednesday wiggles

2007-03-07T21:43:00.000-08:00

Hi to you all out there,
What's been happening in your area?
I just came home from a prayer and sharing time.
It always excites me to know that the Lord is moving in peoples
lives all around me. It is so neat to know that the love of the Lord is flowing in a huge way. Are you experiencing the love of the Lord?
If not, you need to be.
So, tomorrow is going to be beautiful out. There is a full moon and huge stars all over the huge open sky. I am blessed and thrilled.
Well, bless you.
Tim

Tuesday tongs

2007-03-06T20:20:00.001-08:00

Hey you all,
So, i thought i sent out a blog yesterday, but didn't push the the publish button.
Oh well, i am sorry but i still love you all. Hey, i didn't say that i was out of it but, just
messed up a bit.
Hey, ya, we had such an amazing trip to Tatla Lake. If fact, one lady from Tatla called today and told Al that what we communicated was exactly what the church needed. So, that was so encouraging to hear because we obviously want to do what is right and touch lives for the Lord.
Oh, the main thing I wanted to say tonight(and last night), we are hosting a prayer/healing service for anyone who would like to come. It is from 6:30-8pm on Wednesday(tomorrow)
at the YFC office, 289 N. 3rd Ave.(main floor, behind Flavours, use side steps)
If you are in the area, please come and enjoy the Lord.
Well, later later, gator.
Tim

Tuesday tongs

2007-03-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

Sunday song

2007-03-04T22:32:00.000-08:00

Did you hear me sing on Sunday? Good, because I didn't. Hey, i did speak at the Tatla church and I sure did enjoy it.(not my sharing as such but the opportunity.) Al was a real blessing when I asked him to share. In fact, when he shared stuff with me at the cabin in the morning, I couldn't spot crying. I had to tell him to stop, because it actually hurts my body when i laugh.
Anyhow, I am so blessed and thankful for all the Lord is doing.
Did i mention that i am so blessed by all the comments on the blog? I sure hope so.
Well, i am back and safe. Speaking of safe, Al smacked a big deer on the way home tonight. It was huge, but there is no way we could of missed it. Thank the Lord for the safety provided tonight.
See ya,
Tim

Friday flow

2007-03-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

Hi to all of you!
I just got back from the twolves awards banquet. It was great. Gean won Fan of the Year!
I am going out to Tatla Lake tomorrow with Al. We will fish some then on Sunday take the service. So, please be praying for us. We really want to be a blessing! We are also looking at holding prayer services on Wednesdays at the youth centre from 6:30-8pm. I will try to confirm this on Sunday night. We want to allow the Lord to use us to touch lives in this way.
God answers prayer. He wants to restore and heal. Come and enjoy what the Lord has for you and those you love.

Well, love is in the air,
See you,
Tim

Thursday Times

2007-03-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hey, i am home and thankful for the trip. My buddy,Dan, sure was a blessing. All went smooth and the results were a blessing as well. The last time i was down there, the report was that the tumor had grown 2 cm in 10 weeks. Well, over the past 7 weeks, the tumor has not grown. Do i hear an AMEN to that? AMEN!!! Yes, we are thankful for all of the prayers and encouragement recieved over the past number of weeks. It's huge! I feel strongly still that i am suppose to be watching my energy level, but still being available to minister when able to. I feel right about it and I feel that God is directing so i am very happy about that.
Hey, chat soon,
Tim

Tues. toes

2007-02-27T22:07:00.000-08:00

Open to all, open to be all together.
God is so awesome and i love Him so much.
We are so blessed and wow, we are so blessed.
All went so smooth today and the MRI went ok,
but i was coughing some because of a running nose.
So, i will have some shaky pictures but hey, whatever.
Dan met my buddy Rod when we went for breakfast. It was
great to visit with Rod and hear what was happening more in his
life.
See ya,
Tim

Monday morning chew, chew

2007-02-26T21:15:00.000-08:00

Hi John,
Anyhow, how are you all?
We got to Kelowna ok and are now checked in to our room for the next two nights.
Tomorrow is the big MRI then time to visit. Then Wed. see doc and home we go again.
Well, night night for now.
Why did i say Hi to John at top?
See ya,
Tim

Sunday snooze

2007-02-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

No snoozing today. We had fun, fun, fun, in the sun. Great service, good food, nice relaxing afternoon. Next week it is off to Tatla to fish at Horn and take service.(with Al) Then get to take service at Horsefly for the next two weeks(with Al) Thanks again Al. Tomorrow, I take off with Dan to Kelowna for MRI. Of course, during school spring break, we are driving down to visit our oldest kids for a few days. I love to travel, get away so ptl, we are blessed. Wow, thank you Lord for all of your blessings in our lives. Yes, it is great to serve the Lord and enjoy His blessing on our lives. I am sure that it is much better to be reaching out and touching other lives, than to be waiting to get touched. At least that is what i feel i am suppose to be doing. He will do the touching as His timing wills it. Cool eh?! God's word is alive and well and I am so thankful for that. Bring it on Lord! I love you so much! Anyhow, love you all too.
In His Grip,
Tim

Saturday song

2007-02-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

What a great relaxing day. I sure hope you had one too.
Al came over and we ended up praying and planning a tad of what is next
with regards to praying for others. That prayer meeting was the coolest and
we are pumped about what the Lord is doing. I leave on Mon. still for Kelowna
but it will be the last one for and MRI. I don't need them or want them any more.
But, i do love a good excuse to get away. Dan B. is taking me down and we are really looking
forward to the time together. Also, i get back just in time for the mission trip meeting on Wed. night from 6:30-7:30pm. If you can make it, come on out.(info. only)
I keep thinking that i am forgetting something, but i guess Cecile will help me with that when she gets back. Hey, what a great prayer meeting on Thurssday. Special thanks to the people who planned and hosted that and let it sail the way it did. I felt such love and protection. Plus, i continue to know that the healing is flowing. Amen to that. I sure wish our friends from Switzerland and the USA, other parts of Canada, etc... could have been there easily.(like bang)
but we love them so much and bless them.
Anyhow.
lATER,
Tim

Thurs.throws

2007-02-22T11:03:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,
How are you all? What's up eh?
I am going to the prayer meeting tonight. I feel so honored regarding the meeting tonight.
I hope you can make it. We sure love the Lord and enjoy His blessing at all times. Every time we turn around it seems that the Lord is right there meeting every need,(of course He is).
Thank you all so much for your prayers and support shown to our family in so many ways.
Well, i will be off to the office for a few hours now. Then back home for a rest before going out tonight. So, see ya,
TIm

Wed. wiggles

2007-02-21T14:17:00.000-08:00

Can you believe it? My son Joel is stranded in Hope with a tank of gas and his bank card isn't working. So, who should one call. "Parents" Anyhow, he is coming to visit for a few extra days, then take more stuff home to Victoria to be ready to work Monday. You just never know what's up these days with your kids until it happens. I guess that is what keeps us excited about life.
So, i leave on Monday with Dan to go to Kelowna for another MRI and doctor meeting. Then back on Wed. for our first info missions meeting at 6:30pm-7:30pm.
It will be nice to have Cecile back and going strong.
Rachelle went back to the college on the bus at 1pm today. She has an exam tomorrow.
She got a bunch of resumes out yesterday around town.
All seems to be going smooth around the centre for now. You just never know what is going to happen. Somehow, the Lord comes through every time you need help. That is one thing for sure that i have experienced over the years. I am always so thankful for that.
Well, bye for now,
Tim

Tues. tangles

2007-02-20T11:11:00.000-08:00

Ya, my hair is a real mess right now. I really have to comb that out. Oh well, at least i have hair to comb. That is right, i have to count my blessings every day. Just being able to type this right now is a real blessing. I have always said that if there are people touching base with me, i am sure there are people praying and that is awesome. Prayer is the key and i am thankful for all of you who are praying. Wow! That is awesome!

I just had a phone call from a parent who has a teen interested in our mission trips. That is so sweet! On Feb.28, we are hosting an information meeting about the mission trips from 6:30-7:30pm at the YFC office.(289-N.3rd Ave.) Did you get that Cecile? Anyhow, if you can be there that would be sweet, too.

So, everything is flowing smoothly at the YFC office. In fact, better than ever. So, Cecile needs to get back quick so i don't get to tangled up in it. Sorry Cecile.

Well, bye for now,
Tim

monday motors

2007-02-19T16:18:00.000-08:00

HEY, WHAT'S UP? sO, I DID THE OFFICE THING TODAY. PLUS, HAD A GREAT COOKING DAY AT LUNCH FOR THR BOYS. I WHIPPED THEM UP SOME EGGS AND TOAST AND THEY EVEN ATE IT.
IT SURE FEELS GOOD TO DO SOME THINGS AROUND THE OFFICE AND KNOW THAT IT WAS STUFF THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO GET DONE. cOOL~!!!!!!!!!
THE LORD IS GOOD AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE STRENGTH HE GIVES US EACH DAY TO LIVE FOR HIM.
SO, SEE YA,
TIM

Sunday slid

2007-02-18T22:13:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a slidding day. we enjoyed church and a nice outing for lunch. met up with some special people while having lunch. a great time was had by all. i love those times where God sets up those special visits that you never even knew were possible that day. i checked out the hockey game but only got through the first period before the lunch started to work on my stomach. when that was all over, i made it over to Al's for a nice visit. later, the whole family joined me for dinner at the Phipp's place. Tomorrow, Rachelle starts out with her job search.

Things are shaping up and i am going to bed real soon. i will be at the office most afternoons this week if i am feeling good, which i should be. Cecile is away this week so i will be there to cover for her. Cecile, hurry up and get back soon, thanks.

Well, have a great week and behave, y'all.
Love and prayers,
Tim

Satuday Sucky

2007-02-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

Hey, once again i forget to blog. Sorry about that. Please forgive me. Anyhow, I had a good day. I had a good week. My son got a job in Victoria. Cool eh! Plus, i keep feeling good. Amen!
We finished our foster parent paper work and everything is in great shape. Basically we are approved. Plus, plus, Rachelle is home now for the weekend , getting her resume in order and then on Monday she will hit up places for work when she comes home after grad at the end of April. If you happen to know of a job opp. for Rae please call us.
Anyhow, it's off to a hockey game tonight. It is beautiful outside, and we are taking off on a little outing soon for some fresh air. So, see ya soon.
tim

thurs.thumb

2007-02-15T10:06:00.000-08:00

hey, what's up ya'll? I'm behaving. What about you? it was a good outing last night.
i sure hope your evening went smooth. i soaked in some serious sun yesterday. i think i need an office day today. some days i just know i got to get out of here. so, see ya later, ya'll.
tim

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T16:02:00.000-08:00

Hey, what a day to love on others! I guess it is a cupid thing but whatever, let's not get to crazy.
We are blessed and God is so awesome! Let's make sure that we are letting God's love shine through us each and every day of the year! Do i hear an Amen? Of course i did!

So, tonight we are off to dinner with a few other couples. I sure am glad that Esther reminded me that I was taking her out tonight because I totally forgot about it. But, i did have a good rest for some reason today.

Well, i was told that my bed sores are starting to heal up so that is a good thing. Yes, yes, yes.
I have lots of good people around who are keeping track of me. But, i am now planning a little trip out to Horn Lake near the end of the month to do some fishing so that is exciting!
Anyhow, got to go now so see ya soon,
Tim

Tuesday twos

2007-02-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

Yes, it is true, i am having fun and behaving at the same time. I was just saying that i can't believe how blessed we are. That 25th wedding anniversary was such a huge exciting time for us. The memories are huge and the friends we have over there are so amazing. Friends we have everywhere are so amazing. Our family have been so huge to us over the past 6-8 months. Thew word spoiled comes up in conversation quite regularly. Yes, what a ride that i find myself on.
The Lord has taught me so much and i am so excited about learning more each new day. The Bible is jammed packed full of stuff to learn and apply to our lives. The word appy is such a huge word. I mean, if you read it and don't apply it, ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch!!!!! Lord, please help me to apply your words to my life.
I am down at the YFC office right now. Did a few errands and ended up here. It is great to be doing stuff for the mission trips coming up. I mean, really.

so got to go so ,see ya for now,
Bye,
Tim

monday moves

2007-02-12T23:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry, i forgot to put some blogging on the screen today. I had such a good rest that i forgot to do my writing. Ya, i must say that Esther is quite happy with how things are going. She has alot of peace regarding my situation and believes God for the complete healing. Praise the Lord!
I really havebeen busy getting around lately. I love it. I had a good day resting today as well.
I sure am blessed! I still am amazed that there is a big time prayer meeting planned for me hosted at my church in a few weeks. WoW!
Anyhow, I gotta go to bed, so
See ya,
Tim
PS i should tell you about my wild ride down the ramp last night at my church. remind me.

Sunday sweep

2007-02-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, what a sweep it was. I started off with a early rise, raring to go, good feeling. So, i went to church. Then, after a bit, it was off to lunch with Gean and Esther. Then, it was rest in the van for awhile before it was off to the church potluck. Then, it was the church annual meeting. Lots of fun, then off to the house. Then, get ready for bed and lights out. There you go, what a day it was. Oh, i forgot, first thing it was listen to an awesome tape on faith and healing. It was a great message, always is. Thanks to my friends in the states for the tapes. Some nights i really don't like going to bed because i don't want to miss anything. Crazy eh!? Did i mention the great time Esther and I had at the Luthren youth fundraiser last night. What a blast!! No wonder i feel a tad tired tonight. No, i am just so blessed so much, it's so amazing!!
So, good night and don't forget to read Prov.11 before you go to sleep tonight. I will be praying for you. Prayer is so powerful. God answers prayer. Make sure you pray in Jesus name though. Why you ask? Because the Bible says that is how to pray effectively. You see, Jesus paid the penalty for our sin, so when we pray in Jesus name, God sees that we are standing clean from the shed blood of our Lord. So, our prayers are sent through the cleansing blood of the Lord. That's the truth. So, enjoy the time you pray, in Jesus name. Amen!!!
BYE,BYE
Tim

saturday singing

2007-02-10T12:38:00.000-08:00

well, what a night! Our hockey team won in overtime. It was pretty exciting! It was great just getting out to the game. Thanks Ed and Julie. Soon the hockey season will be all over. Oh well, there is always something to do. Hey, a big hi goes out to Brent and Judy. I wonder how Joel's interview went at the hotel in Victoria this morning. Esther is out at a shower today. She will be home soon for lunch and then grandpa is coming over for a visit today while grandma works at Flavours this afternoon.
We are going to support the luthren youth fundraiser tonight then go to our monthly potluck at the yfc youth centre. It is always the second saturday of each month for anyone.
I am already starting to plan another trip. I have to be on the move or i go a tad goofy. No, i am not goofy already. Speaking of trips, our yearly mission trips are coming soon. We have a meeting for those interested in more information at the end of February. So if interested
feel free to come. Thanks again for your comments and chat soon,
Tim

Friday funny

2007-02-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

So, here we go again. Funny, funny. I go into the bathroom at my office to empty my cathador. Why is it that something crazy usually happens in the bathroom? Anyhow, i lift up my leg to empty my cathador and my runner almost flies right off my foot and into the toilet. My quick reflexes grab my runner just before the launch. I thought I was free but no, i grab the little lever to empty but it breaks and now i have the emptying happening all over the floor and on my pants and on my runner. Of course, the lever breaks right off and falls on the ground so all i could do was make sure it didn't also go into my runner. Anyhow, thanks Cecile for cleaning up the bathroom for me after.
The stuff that happens when you least expect it is just crazy. I really should keep track of all the crazy stuff, but oh well, there will always be more.
We took out our Katimavik volunteer for lunch today to say thanks for all of his help over the past couple of months. They are off to Moosinee, Ontario next week for their second placement.
I am sure that will be one chilly place for awhile yet.
I just talked to my son Joel who is in Victoria. He has an job interview at the Empress Hotel tomorrow so we are praying he will get some kind of job there for now. He has dropped off a lot of resumes so far. He might get an interview at a gym too, which he would really be happy about.
Our daughter, Rachelle, just called. She sponsors a boy from the orphanage she worked at in Venezeula. She found out that they bought the boy some new runners for his birthday from the money she sent down. I guess the boy is so happy and of course Rachelle had to call us and share the news. Rachelle is hoping to go back down for a few weeks to visit and give the house parents a weekend off. They want her to come back and stay but she don't feel that the timing is right for that now. THEY REALLY NEED STAFF THERE.(WHO SPEAK SPANISH)
Well, can you believe it? I will chat at you later,
See ya,
Tim

Thurs.Throws

2007-02-08T14:36:00.000-08:00

Hey, can you believe it? The Women's Aglow ministry is hosting a city prayer meeting to pray for me. Wow! I feel so honored, in a huge way. I am just so surprized and excited to be a part of it. So, i am down at my office right now. It always feels good to get out of the house and do some stuff here. I still have boxes of stuff to go through from the mess the guy did who broke into my office last summer. It will get done, but i do have to do it now because my income tax stuff is included in the mess of papers.
I now have a home care aid coming once a day to help me with things, so that is nice. I also think that my sore spot is starting to heal up even though i wasn't suppose to sleep on this special pillow which deflated during the night. Oh well, i go another one without getting into too much trouble.
We are going to the Luthren youth fundraiser on Saturday. That will be fun to attend with Esther.
Well, see ya soon,
Tim

wed.wind

2007-02-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

Well, hello to you all,
I just chatted with the regional staff at the annual yfc regional conference in Chilliwack,bc.
Greg called me and chatted over the speaker phone so all the staff attending could listen in. It was so cool to share with them all. I mean really, it was so neat to share an update with the staff and invite them to be praying for the ministry here and to let them know that we are so blessed here with the staff and awesome volunteers we have running the ministry.
So, i have really been enjoying the taped sermons from the trip i went on in Washington. There really is so much to learn. I thought i knew everything already. Ok, i am kidding but i am learning stuff i think i should have already known. Ok, at least i am learning. I have definitely discovered there is so much to learn.
Once again, i want to say thank you so much for the awesome comments on the blog. I am blessed with all of your love.
In His Grip,
Tim

tues. twists

2007-02-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

So, what is up with you? A rough day for the mending bottom guy. Butt, i had the community nurse in to tune me in so look out from here on. Please be praying for the pain issue. I hate to complain, but i am getting a tad fed up witht the pain from the different positions to be in to help heal the bed sores. Anyhow, I had a good visit with grandpa today., We made elk jerky and cooked a trout. You should have seen nthe challenge we were up to and survived. The food tasted good too.
I almost finished cleaning the kitchen before Esther got home.
Well, i'll try to blog earlier tomorrow.
See ya,
Tim

monday madness

2007-02-05T13:54:00.000-08:00

hey, guess what? we are getting another dog today. cool! plus, i am home more so i get blessed by the dog more. see, i am spoiled rottenn and loving it.. look uup the breed of dog. it is haveneze. it has an interesting background. royalty. speaking of royalty, a christian is automatically linked to royalty. if you are a christian, don't get excited too soon. there is responsibility that comes with position.#1. love your neighbor(and enemy) , #2 love the Lord with your whole being. i switched 1 and 2 because we as christians tend to forget #2, which i put as #1 just to make sure it stands out, out, out. ok, so, royalty is cool, but everything needs to be in order. i am starting to feel a bit preachy. in fact, i am missing the preaching opportunities i had around the area like before. so, if anyone happens to be connected to where there is a need for a sermon, please let the appropriate person know of a guy who is itching to preach up a storm. thanks!
well, are you blessed? i sure hope so. i was blessed today when my good pals, louie and twyla popped in to visit this morning. Well, bye for now,
Tim

Sunday Slidin

2007-02-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

Hey, church was great today, when joining in with the youth retreat at the church. It sure was nice to see others who i haven't seen for awhile.
Esther and the boys just got home from their trip so we can start getting ready for beddy. It is always nice to have more bodies baqck in the house. I didn't quite realize that i wouldn't like the quiter setting for a few days.
I took in the Super Bowl game at the youth centre today with the guys. It was another fun part of the day, but it did tend to drag for me because i don't really follow football. I was mostly excited about the fact that both coaches this year were Christians and that they were amazing role models to their teams.(ok, i liked watching the tv ads too)
well, it has been a full day and weekend so it's off to bed and to all a good night.
Love and prayers,
Tim

Saturday sugar

2007-02-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

So, i am blessed and sugar sweet. I was home all day, relaxing and then after awhile i had a sugar sweet shower. Blessing to you. I sure enjoyed some good reading and prayer time before noon. One thing i have been doing is saying no to tv before noon, or it is just too distracting.
I am to church in the morning by getting a ride from the James family. Our youth are hosting a district youth event so there are kids from all over the place. It should be fun.
So, i have been getting a good sleep but when i do wake up in the middle of the night, it sure can be hard to keep positive thoughts flowing. In fact, it can be brutal at times.
Esther and the boys shoould be home around 6 or 7 pm tomorrow. They are having a great time. That's awesome!
Rachelle is looking after my friends foster kids in Abbotsford this weekend. She will enjoy that.
It sure was nice to visit her last week when i was though there.
Anyhow, see ya soon,
Tim

Friday frenzy

2007-02-02T22:20:00.000-08:00

Wow, did i party today! I started out with going to a men's breakfast at 6:30am, and ended with going to a hockey game and being delivered home at 10:15pm. In between, i went to the office for a few hours, followed by lunch out and a visit with a few friends before resting for a couple of minutes.
So, it was quite a day. I just phoned to the mountain to say good night to my wife and she is blessed and having a great time with the boys and our friends who are up the mountain with the fam.. Yes, i am home and didn't attend the mountain outing like i was going to. Sorry, but i just felt right about staying home and that's that.
I have been so encouraged by the kind words i received at the hockey game by friends there. I am so blessed it is almost scary. Every thing is under control. Yes, the Lord is so good to me. My parents came up again tonight and did supper for me. I am spoiled rotten and loving it.
I don't know yet what i am doing tomorrow but i do know it will involve prayer and reading the word of the Lord. If you are in the area and would like to join me, feel free, i don't charge.
I have awesome teaching tapes to listen to from my journey South too. So, i will touch base with you all tomorrow and say good night to any of you night owls.
Good night.
Tim

Thurs. thrills

2007-02-01T09:05:00.001-08:00

i'm home now. i need to make a few adjustments but i think i can figure things out around here.
i slept laying on my side last night so i feel kinked up in different ways. but, it is nice to be home.
i was all pumped up to go to the mountain with family and friends who invited us, but i just can't get into it for some reason. i think i just always have too many things to think about if i want to go and do something.

well, i just wanted you to know i got home safe, so later,
tim

Tuesday taffe

2007-01-30T21:52:00.000-08:00

Hey Ya'll,

What's happening? We are off to WL tomorrow. We had a great day again today. It is always fun to bug my daughter. Plus, i picked up the bike for our newest girl Kelly, who used to go to the Bible College that Rachelle goes to. The bike was still at the campus so i finally remembered to get it. Anyhow, we are blessed. Oh, we hit Costco tonight and had some fun. Al loves to buy food for the family so it was fun just watching him. It really is amazing how much fun you can have watching others.
Please be praying for my son Joel. He has really been struggling with a back pain issue for a very long time that really is a lot of PAIN. It keeps him from working and he needs a real healing touch. Thanks.
Once again, thanks so much for all of your comments and concern shown.
Bye for now,
Tim

Monday moons

2007-01-29T22:55:00.000-08:00

Hey, thanks to all for the birtjday greetings today. Yes, i am feeling very old. I picked up Rachelle and had a b-day cake(ice cream) at Jennie and Terry's in Abbotsford. It was fun.
Of course, we always have the family party so i am looking forward to that when i get home on Wednesday, hint, hint.
Yes, we got to Abbey safely today but the brakes on the van are so bad that we have an appointment for them to get fixed tomorrow morning. There is no way that i would let Al drive on those brakes. Oh well, things are just fine.

Anyhow, chat later,
Tim

Sunday sips

2007-01-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

Hey, i'm off to Abbotsford tomorrow. I have had a great time here. I hope to see the kids before going home wed. Church was a great learning time. I have been so blessed. Al has been such a great blessing to me in so many ways. WoW, i am so well looked after. So, one more sleep here before being back in Canada.(plus, new cell phone) Anyhow, please be praying.
Love tim

Saturday shower

2007-01-27T22:05:00.000-08:00

What a situation. I have a bed sore that i discovered a couple nights ago. So, because my friend is a nurse, she had everyone involved in my shower tonight. What an experience that was. I know it was all because she wants things to heal quick and good. But, wow, it was quite something, having all my pals moving me around before and after the shower. What you have to go through sometimes, in dealing with things that arise sure make you just say, Whatever. Nothing seems to be PRIVATE at all anymore, anywhere. Hospitals, friends places, home. Whatever. The nice thing is that you know everyone means well. At least that's what you have to keep in mind to get through the next step or situation. It can be really hilarious, or and embarrassing but it all boils down to one day at a time and enjoy the day any way you can.
Tomorrow, we are off to church. The pastors are twin ladies. That should be interesting. I am looking forward to meeting them. I heard one of them speak on a tape last week. Sounds interesting alright.
Anyhow, blessings and see ya,
Tim

Friday flies

2007-01-26T22:48:00.000-08:00

I finally found out how to get back on the blog site. A little late but ok i guess.
I had a very relaxing day at the house while everyone else was off doing stuff. I even got Al
off helping my friends with moving their store. I met some special people who came over to visit and pray. What a great day!
Tomorrow, I will be driving around and seeing some of the local sites. Then we will all be visiting again in the afternoon. It sure is nice to get away for a few days and do something different. I sure am glad that I don't have that stomach flu anymore.
I had a nice visit with my wife on the phone tonight. She is going snowboarding tomorrow with Elaine(Al's wife) and our sons Josiah and Jeremiah. They will have a great time, I'm sure.
Well, we sure are being spoiled rotten here. I guess it's ok, what do you say? Well, later,eh!
Tim

Thursday thoughts

2007-01-25T16:42:00.002-08:00

I thought I should at least say hi and let you know that all is well. I had a great drive down with Al. He was a little wild on the road but i forgave him. It's those crazy vibrating marks that mess me up and Al knows that. Oh well, i guess i can't complain. We got here safe. Today was full of great healthy eating and relaxation. Plus, I listened to hours of great teaching on tv. Now i am quite tired but relaxed. We had such a nice time in Abbotsford that we just have to plan on stopping by there again on the way home. Tomorrow we will do alot of the same as today.

Always learning and forever rejoicing. I trust all is well at home. Did i mention that i have the cleanest cell phone around. It went through the wash machine before leaving Canada. So, needless to say, it doesn't work at the moment but we are hoping for the dry out mode to kick in during the next few days. Crazy but true. Well, bless you all, and thanks again for your prayers,
Tim

Wed. windy

2007-01-24T11:39:00.000-08:00

Well, here i am in Abbotsford,BC.. Al and I had a wonderful visit with the Crosby's. But, just as we were to leave, i discovered that my upset, stomach flu symtoms the night before were more than just symptoms. Oh well, what a situation to deal with. I am so thankful for good friends who can and will help you out when you are in a real mess.
Hey, thanks for all of your prayers. We are now off to Vancouver, Washington, so to all a good night.
Tim
PS I guess i am blessed to be crossing the border all nice and clean.

The Real Slim Timmy

2007-01-23T20:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so Tim was crazy enough to let me (one of his "dear friends" from Abbotsford) loose on his blog site. Thought y'all might enjoy a picture of the real Slim Timmy. Of course, I had to crop myself out of the picture :) You're supposed to guess when this was taken.

He's sitting in my living room right at this moment, safe and sound, and we're having a nice chat. Our Christmas decorations are lying around, half boxed up and he's threatening to sell them in his store. We're blessed to have this little visit.

-- Jennie Crosby

Tuesday travel

2007-01-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

Hey, i am off soon to Washington. I will take my computer so i can try to stay in touch with my awesome blog family. I must admit, i am starting to feel quite close to you wild and crazy people out there. Somehow, i guess through the comments, i feel a caring spirit and i think that is so cool.
Anyhow, i will try to be connected and trust that you are all blessed and having a great week.
I must say that the care and concern felt over my trip coming up was something totally unexpected. It was very sweet.
Just so you know, my good buddy Al Phipps, came over yesterday in the midst of me being in a very confused state. Basically, I was having very mixed emotions about going by myself on this trip. Anyhow, he said that he prayed about my journey and felt that if i was going, he was driving me and that's all there was to it. I thought, wow, that is exactly how i needed to hear it to agree to the opportunity.
So, i accepted the offer and now we are just packing up and off we go for the next week.
Well, once again, enjoy your week and chat later,
Tim

Monday melodies

2007-01-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

So, what are you up to today? Thank you once again for your response to the blog. such amazing responses. i am so blessed by you people out there. Thank you for your heart. Thank you for the love i can feel through your words. I am so blessed and encouraged.
I have really been having mixed feeling at this moment about going into the states and visiting my friends there. It is weird when you start feeling a little off about your next step. You really have to be open to what GOD wants for your life. God, help me to be open to all you have for me to do. My heart is open, my desire is to serve the Lord in what ever way HE WANTS.
Thank you Lord for your Word, for your love , your care for me and my family. Wow, what a hope that i have through a friendship with God. Can you imagine, we can have friendship with the creator of this world. The CREATOR. wow, we have such an opportunity to touch other hurting lives through the Creator working through us. His Spirit, working in and through us to change eternity. Can you just imagine? God wants to work through us to show His love to those around us. The cool thing is that He wants to use us. He wants to use us. Did you catch that? He wants to, He wants to, He WANTS to use us.

You are one of the us. I sure hope you know that. I sure hope that you know that you are one of the us. To me, it is always so amazing that I am one of the us as well. Isn't it exciting to know how much God loves us and wants to be a vital part of our lives? AMEN! He cares so much about our families. If you have situations that are concerning you, you pray. If you need help with something, you pray. If you feel that something is out of line, you pray. Now, how difficult is that? No, really, i feel that we tend to make things a way to difficult in our own minds that we don't feel that there is hope for the situation. That is just what the enemy wants. There is hope. Always! When the Lord is on your side, there is hope. HOPE IS ACTUALLY A HUGE WORD. I mean huge. Hope is huge when Jesus is on your side. We can walk in victory at all times. It doesn't matter what the picture looks like.Just walk in the confidence that you are on the winning side. Be open, allow the Lord to bless you and answer prayer the way He wants to answer your prayers. Sit back and enjoy what God does in your family as you pray. Remember i said enjoy it. Hey, take care and chat at you later,
Tim

Sunday.no sun

2007-01-21T08:56:00.000-08:00

Good morning,
Special thanks to all who are leaving comments lately. I sure do get blessed by them. Plus, there is such a wide range of comments. I am very much encouraged!It seems that there is a hunger for the full gospel to be in operation. It is too bad that we have been shy or not bold enough to let it be so through our own lives.
There is no time like the present. I want to encourage you to step out and say and do whatever the Lord is telling you to do. The Lord loves us so much and He wants to use us in touching hurting lives all around us. The neat thing is that most lives right around us are lives that are directly connected to us in some way. So, instead of being shy or not wanting to hurt peoples feelings, begin to be sensitive to the situation and begin to speak to the situation. I know you will find it difficult at first to be honest and open, but the end result is always what is best. If relationships are going to last, if God is going to have His way, you have to do what the Word of God says. Obey. Be honest. Be bold. Allow the Love of God to flow through you to speak to the situation you might find yourself in. When you step out, the enemy doesn't have a chance! Relationships are what is most important in this life. For sure! So, the more you can put time into relationships, the more you will see the victory come. It is time to kick some serious butt(enemy).
Don't forget, the Bible says, that the people around us are not the enemy. Please get that straight. The enemy is the negative spiritual forces around us. If you don't understand that, you are going to have a very challenging time in the area of forgiveness. Yes, you have to forgive. Just think, the pattern for forgiveness was set in motion by the Lord Jesus. When we asked forgiveness for our mistakes, He forgave us Now. So, we are directed to forgive Now as well. It is a very freeing thing to forgive. Then you have to pour out trust on the situation. All you do is ask for whatever it is that you need from the Lord and He will give it to you. Yes, we are blessed with the power of God in our lives to follow through with whatever is needed to deal with where we find ourselves. Remember to be thankful in all things.
Amen. Chat tomorrow.
Tim
Just so you know, I do feel strongly that i am suppose to go to my friends down south for some time. I do appreciate your prayers and i am touched by your comments and obvious concern. If you would like personal response to your comments, please leave your email addresses otherwise i have no way of responding back. Thanks again.

Saturday Situation

2007-01-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

a big hello to you all,
i have been starting to prepare for my mission trip to find Jesus. I think my first stop will be in Abbotsford, BC to visit some dear friends and my daughter. I am
really getting excited about the whole thing. Anyhow, my next stop should be at good friends in Washington. We stop there every year on our mission trips. The people there are such awesome Christians. They have been such a huge blessing to me.
I am planning to press in and touch the Lord there. I find that i just have too many distractions around the home front at this time. I want to do what the Lord wants, I want to listen and obey. Too often, I have been there for others, but i just wasn't quite connected to what i was suppose to be doing. God wants us to follow His will for our lives and i look back and can see that i wasn't obedient to His call. Too many times i would turn and not say what was suppose to be said. The reason : because i didn't want to hurt someones feelings or i wanted to keep peace.
So, the results: God's word was not communicated. When God's will is done, MIRACLES can happen. When we follow and are obedient, amazing things happen and God is glorified. Why not: What do we have to lose: When will the church(the Body of Christ)arise and be what it is called to be: I don't know, but i think it can start in each one of us now. As we are obedient, and stop taking the easy street or begin to speak what the Lord tells us no matter what the cost, we will begin to see such awesome fullness. The peace of God will be experienced in our hearts like never before and the joy of the Lord will be all over us because of what we are experiencing through that obedience to the Father. It is time to stand up and be counted. It is time to walk in forgiveness and let the world know that all things are possible. Greater is He who is in us than he that is in the world. You see, the enemy of our souls is trying so hard to steal, kill and destroy. The Word of God says that we have the power to destroy the works of the enemy so let's get started. The more we pretend that everything is ok around us, the more we lose ground. So, who wants to join me in putting God first and not worrying about what others think?
I trust that you are blessed and enjoying this new day. Chat at you soon,
Tim

Friday frozen

2007-01-19T07:31:00.001-08:00

Hi pals,
You might not find this posting in line with the others i've done over the past months but, oh well, i still love you all.
Anyhow, i am now on a mission. I have been reading and praying lots. It has been greatlearning and growing in that way. I have learned lots about the Lord. Plus, i have come to understand His love and depth on the Salvation message. In some ways, I can hardly believe how it all works, because we are so spoiled by being able to walk in the Message(gospel). It really doesn't seem fair to know the truth, but i guess there will always be stuff we won't understand.
Take for example my cancer situation. I would love to tell you why this is happening in my life but, i just don't know. But i do know that God loves me and still is vitally interested in my life. I hope you know that the Lord is vitally interested in your life as well. That is one beautiful thing about the Gospel message. Jesus is desiring a relationship with each one of us and that is so awesome.
When i pray, i know that everything is ok. Why, because Jesus in involved in my life. He cares more than anyone in my life. That's why i am going to let you know right now that i am on a mission to find out where He wants to meet me. Ya, i really feel strongly that i am suppose to go on a mission to meet with JESUS really meet with Him in a real way. So, is there anyone out there who is feeling led to point me in the right direction to get me started on this part of the journey? Come on, you shouldn't keep secrets. I am so pumped and excited about this part of the journey. i sure hope you are blessed and excited about the journey you are on. If you are struggling right now, i would sure love to talk with you and encourage you in some way.
Well, bye for now,
Tim

Friday frozen

2007-01-19T07:31:00.000-08:00

Thursday thumbs

2007-01-18T00:45:00.000-08:00

Speaking of thumbs, how are you today? We just had our appointment with our doctor at the clinic. Just so you know, it wasn't what we were hoping for. As far as medically, the doc said that the tumor has grown 2 cm up the spinal column. Of course, the rest was negative as it relates to the growth. So what? Well, i still function in the spiritual realm. My hope and prayer is in Jesus. Nothing has changed! Plus, we still welcome your prayers! It is so exciting how many people are praying. I am so blessed with the Lord in my life. I can hardly believe the spiritual growth and excitement in my life right now. Friends from Kelowna are involved in an international ministry and they told me about it. Well, part of it includes an on-line church. So, i asked about being a pastor on-line. They are connecting me with the part of the ministry where i can be considered as an on-line pastor. I am so excited about it. I have always wondered how i could minister more through the internet. So, i will let you know more soon. I'm excited! Thanks again for your prayers. Let the Lord have His way in your life each new day!
See ya,
Tim

Tuesday tunes

2007-01-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

Good day,
We are just hanging out at our friends in Kelowna right now. We drove down to Kamloops yesterday getting closer to the MRI time at the hospital. So, i got mri'd
today and now we are in Kelowna to have a meeting tomorrow with my doctor to find out the results of the mri. Fun, fun,fun! So, anyhow, here we are and there we are and i think we will be just fine. Tomorrow, we will pack it up and head home after we see the doctor.
We are blessed and we continue to trust the Lord in all things. We find that the Lord is always there to meet all of our needs at all times. You can't help but be thankful and blessed.
I mentioned yesterday that our son Joel was off to Alberta to work. Well,he left his snow board in the carport so i called him in the afternoon to see where i should send his stuff. So, when i called him and asked him where he was at, he said "on the ferry". If you are from around here, you know right away that he made one huge wrong turn or he decided to go in the opposite direction. Anyhow, when he left in the morning, he decided to go in the opposite direction which included "the ferry".
So, when i heard that, he was really confused and then he added "to Victoria". So, he decided to go to Victoria to find work and pursue some other interests. The funny thing is that Esther and I am actually really excited about the friends he will be with there and the opportunities that are there for him.(but it sure did throw me for a quick loop)
Well, chat at you soon,
Tim

monday minutes

2007-01-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

Hey, good morning and welcome to another addition of the blog. today, we leave for kamloops to get an mri on tuesday. then it is off to kelowna for an appointment on wednesday. then we are planning to drive back on wednesday evening.
our son joel left today for alberta. he is suppose to be working at a restaurant plus snowboard during the day. so, we are looking forward to hearing from joel.
we had a great weekend. lots of prayer and sharing with others. We had a special guest speaker at our church. we are spoiled rotten and loving it.
What else should i say? I just know that this journey we are on will bring forth a mighty harvest of new believers. I actually believe God is in the healing business and that the healing is complete in Jesus. I see it in God's Word and that is good enough for me. The Bible is full of the healing power of Jesus in operation. With salvation comes healing. It all goes together very well. We have had some amazing confirmations of healing. It is quite amazing to say the least. Esther has been so good to me. She has been such an amazing nurse. I wish i could pay her a nurses wage. She is worth every bit. The nice thing is that if i gave her $500 for her helping me each day, she could give back to me and then i could give it to her again the next day, etc... so i could pay her well. Cool eh?
Well, enjoy the day and i guess i should start getting packed up.
Bless you,
Tim

Satuday Soundings

2007-01-13T08:22:00.000-08:00

Ya, it is Saturday already. I seem to beable to get only one email out every other day now. I don't plan it that way but hope to change that now. So, ya I sure have been enjoying your emails. What a blessing to me. We have been praying lots and listening to scriptures on tape. Now that has been great! One scripture that just cracked me up was found in Matt. and it talks about how God knows how to give good gifts. Where do you think they come from in Matt., 7-11 of course. Look it up, i like it. Anyhow, i hear you chuckling, you like it too.
Esther is sure looking after me well. We go to Kamloops on Monday to get MRI on tues morning. Then Kelowna on Tues for meeting on Wed. at clinic. Hope to come home on Wed but we'll see how it goes.
We sure do appreciate everyone praying. We know God is answering prayers. He always does, always will. Yes, we are blessed! Well, chat at you soon.
Tim

Thursday tunes

2007-01-11T18:51:00.000-08:00

Well, good day to you all and i understand that it is chilly outside today. I am having a pretty good day. It is great to be in a nice warm house. Speaking of warm homes, we have so many friends who have warm hearts, as well. We are encouraging those who can get over to visit to also spend some time in prayer together. We are finding that we need to be spending more time in prayer with others. How about you?
Are you able to press in and discover the heart of God? The main thing I have discovered, is that God loves us with a love that is so HUGE! This huge love is unconditional. It doesn't matter what we do or say, God will still love us!
That wife of mine is sure making me think about my actions and words lately. I am so thankful for her support and input as we travel this road together.
Anyhow, I am going to go to bed now and have a good sleep. So, see ya tomorrow.
TTFN,
Tim

wed is here

2007-01-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

So, Wednesday is here. Here i am, at home relaxing the day away. Yesterday, was one brutal day. I think all the meds i was put on were just hammering away on each other. Some of the time i was ok, some of the time i was right out of it. I had an amazing sleep last night. Thank you so much for your prayers.
Esther took the rest of the week off from school to get me back on track. She is such a good nurse. She just opened the blinds and discovered that the sun is shining brightly. It is beautiful outside!
Is it beautiful where you live? i sure hope so.
Well, it is time to say bye for now.
so, bye for now.
Tim